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Marshalzu
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Lurking

0 posted 2002-11-10 04:33 PM


Forever England

Brave old boys of England
Brave old boys of England
Follow to your death
Follow to your death
Follow your brave England
Boys of old to death

Glory found in heaven
Glory found in heaven
Honour shone in our hearts
Honour shone in our hearts
In Glory, honour shone
Found heaven in our hearts

Nameless men are dying
Nameless men are dying
Pride of our false idols
Pride of our false idols
False pride of dying men
Nameless are our idols

Brave men hearts of old
Follow your false pride
In death our boys of honour
Dying are our idols
To heaven found in England
Glory shone nameless


It is customary for us English to remember our great heroes and veterans on Rememberance Sunday (the sunday closest to Nov 11) and on November 11th. It is on this/these days that we take a two minute silence and remember what our great grandfathers, grandfathers and fathers sacrificed for us in the Great War and the Second World War, so that we could live in freedom. All around Britain, in towns and villages up and down the country we hold rememberance services for those men and boys who defended our country with their lives.

Lest we forget

Insert Sig here

© Copyright 2002 Andrew Sewell - All Rights Reserved
rimmie
Junior Member
since 2002-08-09
Posts 45
Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada
1 posted 2002-11-10 05:13 PM


Well I enjoyed the over all theme but have to say that the stile was rather dull. I didnt care much for the repeting lines. But I really did like the last verse espesially the lines "Follow your false pride
In death our boys of honour" I thought them to be very powerfull and well writen.

Good Job,
~RuZ~

[This message has been edited by rimmie (11-10-2002 05:16 PM).]

Skyfire
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2 posted 2002-11-10 06:22 PM


And you wonder why I won't attempt a paradelle. Geeze, I have you to compare myself to Anyway... I dont' have much to say to this, cause even though we have our two minute silence tomorrow it made me appreciate all that I've got that our boys fought for... Canadian, British, and American.
Lest we forget indeed

wvplayernotreally
Member
since 2002-11-06
Posts 215
yakima wa
3 posted 2002-11-10 07:39 PM


This is good. a lot of people don't take time to remember what has happened over the years. You have a soft voice while being firm on what you know and believe. I can really appreciate that

" I think I got a tan from the light in which i was basking."

clve527
Member
since 2002-07-08
Posts 200

4 posted 2002-11-10 07:54 PM


I think this style is one that requires strong lines.  And frankly I don't see any very strong lines.  I commend you for trying this style, but would urge you to dissect each line and make them stand alone because each line almost has to in this format.

Casey

Spine Grinder
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since 2000-10-28
Posts 1127
Standing In Silence...
5 posted 2002-11-11 12:11 PM


awesome.

You can close your eyes to things you dont want to see,but u cant close your heart to things you dont want to feel.

LoveBug
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6 posted 2002-11-11 01:13 PM


You really made this difficult style work for you, my friend. This is a wonderfully written piece... it's strange how people are willing to die for an idea, a nation.. but sometimes it doesn't seem so strange at all. Wonderful work!

Most of us go to our grave with our music still inside of us.

vlraynes
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229
Somewhere... out there...
7 posted 2002-11-11 04:05 PM



Andrew~
Not only have you mastered this form, but
you've also done a great job of using it
to convey a very important reminder for us all.
This is something that we should all remember
not only today, but every day.
"Lest we forget"...Amen, my friend.
~Vicky

"...until you have read the verse on his heart,
you have not truly met the poet.
~vlraynes

NSnaomian
Member
since 2002-07-22
Posts 232
In my troll closet I be
8 posted 2002-11-11 08:58 PM


**Praise**

Laura

"I have seen what a laugh can do. It can transform almost unbearable tears into something bearable, even hopeful."
-Bob Hope-

Jester
Junior Member
since 2002-08-13
Posts 41
The dark corners of your mind
9 posted 2002-11-11 11:23 PM


this is the first time i've ever come across this style.  Its very intriguing... it would be fun to attempt i think...maybe make an interesting challenge.  Nice job focusing on the important issue of remembering the men who fought for something their country believed in.  Every line struck me because i am currently studying literature about the first world war and this fits right in.  Thanx for the read.
Jester

I am your God, will you kill me now or shall I be continually suicidal?

Marshalzu
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10 posted 2002-11-12 11:03 AM


Thank you all for your wonderful comments.

Andrew


Local Parasite
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11 posted 2002-11-13 04:07 PM


Not bad at all, Andrew.  I have to agree with Casey (ACK!  I hate doing that) and say that your lines could have been a bit stronger in most places.  The last stanza was the only one that really bugged me, but don't worry man, I've written paradelles and understand how much of a bitch the last stanza is...

You know, you're really good at this style... you probably churn these out in like ten minutes at a time or something.  I bet you're great at jigsaw puzzles.

Parasite

Facts do not cease to exist because they are ignored.
~Aldous Huxley

clve527
Member
since 2002-07-08
Posts 200

12 posted 2002-11-13 06:25 PM


Don't we all hate agreeing with Casey.... wait I am Casey.  Urgh, now I'm confused.

Casey

Skyfire
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13 posted 2002-11-13 11:48 PM


LOL @ Casey
agreeing with you isn't THAT bad, it's just that Brian has a hard time agreeing with anyone... wait, that's Javir... Now I'M all confused

I am a Knight who says Ni!

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