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Teen Poetry #6
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Riley
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Senior Member
since 2002-07-18
Posts 1038
in the pouring rain

0 posted 2002-11-10 10:54 AM


I wrote this poem while listening to some song....which explains the Dela thing ( thats what the songs called and it is from George of the JUNGLE!!!! )And the compl....is just, well u might figure it out... Well here it is.......( originally called Fourth Grade )

Like a silver moon seeking the gold
Dela when I saw the leaves burn
The flames rise up past the black
Brushing my face making me twist
Isn’t it always like that?
Life at first sight
Be careful not to trip

Where are the green leaves going mama
Back to the path where they belong
Mama?
Yes doll,
Am I a green leaf?
no answer from her lips
Mama, I want to go back to my path

I want to go back, I'm scared

My simple grace
Complex innocence
Understandable that confusion is a companion
When I hear the birds sing it slices me
The fact I can’t give them the words I want to
To shine through with a true voice

The shadows are my only hope
To escape this horrid place
I will find comfort in their light
Yet there will always be a hole
Left by your compl…

Mama?
Yes, doll
I want to go back to my path
please




~*I found how to laugh, forgot how to smile, somehow your words, make it all worthwhile*~


[This message has been edited by Riley (11-11-2002 06:32 PM).]

© Copyright 2002 Riley Grant - All Rights Reserved
Pollita
Member
since 2002-07-25
Posts 220
the unknown realm of insanity
1 posted 2002-11-10 12:40 PM


OMG THIS IS GOOD...I LIKED IT...hope to see more from you...laterz
Riley
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Senior Member
since 2002-07-18
Posts 1038
in the pouring rain
2 posted 2002-11-11 08:34 AM


Thankies muchly

~*I found how to laugh, forgot how to smile, somehow your words, make it all worthwhile*~

Wind
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2002-10-12
Posts 2981

3 posted 2002-11-11 11:22 AM


Yeah I liked it Ri. Good job

"Sticks and stones will break my bones,
But words will break my heart"

Spine Grinder
Senior Member
since 2000-10-28
Posts 1127
Standing In Silence...
4 posted 2002-11-11 12:37 PM


woah. liked this one. good job.

What You Can't Have- You Can't Resist

vlraynes
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229
Somewhere... out there...
5 posted 2002-11-14 04:44 PM



Riley~
Wow!  This is an incredible write!
There is so much depth to this and I just LOVE it.
These lines say so much...

    "Life at first sight
     Be careful not to trip"

Very powerful...just perfect.
I believe this may be my favorite of yours.
It's definately in the top 3.
Keep up the great writing!
Hugs,
~Vicky

"...until you have read the verse on his heart,
you have not truly met the poet.
~vlraynes

Riley
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Senior Member
since 2002-07-18
Posts 1038
in the pouring rain
6 posted 2002-11-15 08:28 AM


To everyone: Thanks for taking the time to reply to my poor poem....


Vicky: depth? * drowns * I kinda wrote this about the fourth grade ( or thats the direction I tried to take it ) and I dunno. Fourth grade having depth? Have to think about that one. Thanks again.

Riley

~*I found how to laugh, forgot how to smile, somehow your words, make it all worthwhile*~

dinky
Member
since 2002-10-19
Posts 258

7 posted 2002-11-18 06:40 PM


this was pretty good, i liked the ending
~samantha~

"sometimes i just feel like
quittin i still might
why do i put up this fight?
why do i still write?"

lonelyone2032
Junior Member
since 2002-11-17
Posts 13

8 posted 2002-11-18 07:15 PM


wow~ nice poem i really liked it!
LesterVisaya
Junior Member
since 2002-11-16
Posts 21

9 posted 2002-11-18 11:24 PM


Everything that i was suppose to say was said already by all the peeps above me..thanks 4 the poem
vlraynes
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229
Somewhere... out there...
10 posted 2002-11-21 01:16 AM



Riley~
Okay then...perhaps the 'depth' lies in my interpretation,
rather than in your intended meaning...LOL.
Either way, I still love it.
~Vicky

"...until you have read the verse on his heart,
you have not truly met the poet.
~vlraynes

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