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Teen Poetry #6
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Sweetpoet16m4u04
Member
since 2002-11-10
Posts 153
Ma, U.S.A

0 posted 2002-11-10 12:18 PM



Missing You Tonight

Here I sit alone in my bed
While visions and thoughts of you danced in my head.
I’m missing you tonight
It would make me so happy just to have you in sight

I think that I’m missing your smile the most
I would do anything just to hold you close.
Being away from you for days is just too much
It’s because you have that magic touch.

The stars are in the sky
They cannot compare to the diamonds in your eye,
And the full moon is peeking out
Please give me a chance to see what true love is about.

Well my eyes are beginning to shut
So I guess I have to say Goodnight
These feelings will continue to grow like the deepest cut
As you are the one that I’m missing tonight.

© Copyright 2002 Sweetpoet16m4u04 - All Rights Reserved
Local Parasite
Deputy Moderator 10 Tours
Member Elite
since 2001-11-05
Posts 2527
Transylconia, Winnipeg
1 posted 2002-11-10 01:37 AM


oh, I like how the first couple lines are a distant reference to "the night before christmas."  Helps to give the reader an idea of what to expect in terms of style...

The rest of the poem has a lot of interesting mixed imagery, such as the moon peeking out and asking what true love is about... that was neat.  

Welcome to Passions in Poetry.  Hope you have fun reading, replying and sharing with the rest of us in here.

Parasite

Facts do not cease to exist because they are ignored.
~Aldous Huxley

Crysania
Member
since 2002-09-21
Posts 67
Lost in a dream. (Please don't wake!)
2 posted 2002-11-10 02:30 AM


I like the 'Night Before Christmas' lines too! Very nice, m'dear, very nice.

Blessed Be!
Stephanie

Do what you want and say what you feel. Those who matter won't mind and those who mind don't matter. (Forget who said that...must find their name.)

anonymousfemale
Member Elite
since 2000-02-02
Posts 2797
Limbo
3 posted 2002-11-10 05:52 AM


Welcome to Passions!

Nice first post, sweetpoet. You've done a fairly good job with the rhyme but you're new so I wont pick too badly.

Remember to reply as well as post around here. Thanks for joining and I look forward to seeing your name around the board.

~AF~

Don't steal - the Government hates competition.

Riley
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2002-07-18
Posts 1038
in the pouring rain
4 posted 2002-11-10 11:06 AM


Nice first post * sits down with book * Twas the night before, o forget it, I'll just say I liked the reference and sound like I'm copying....


Riley

~*I found how to laugh, forgot how to smile, somehow your words, make it all worthwhile*~

NSnaomian
Member
since 2002-07-22
Posts 232
In my troll closet I be
5 posted 2002-11-10 11:19 AM


Welcome to Passions! This was a good first post. Hope you like it here.

Laura

"I have seen what a laugh can do. It can transform almost unbearable tears into something bearable, even hopeful."
-Bob Hope-

Auguste
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Member Elite
since 2000-02-16
Posts 3953
By the sea
6 posted 2002-11-10 12:46 PM


A touching tribute to someone very missed.  Welcome to Passions and please check your e-mail for a special greeting.
Riley
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2002-07-18
Posts 1038
in the pouring rain
7 posted 2002-11-10 12:50 PM


O yea.....I fordot. WELCOME TO PASSIONS!!!!!!!!!!!! I am the worlds formost expert on exclamation points. LOL.


WELCOME ONCE AGAIN!


Exclamation

~*I found how to laugh, forgot how to smile, somehow your words, make it all worthwhile*~

devinechild22
Senior Member
since 2002-08-28
Posts 571

8 posted 2002-11-10 02:25 PM


Welcome Welcome Welcome! I loved the poem...Cant wait to see more of u!
                      *Allison*

dinky
Member
since 2002-10-19
Posts 258

9 posted 2002-11-10 10:08 PM


welcome,
this was a good first post
i really liked it
that smilie prolly has no reason to be there but i always wanted to put it in a reply so i figured now's as good a time as ever, enough rambling
good write
~samantha~

"sometimes i just feel like
quittin i still might
why do i put up this fight?
why do i still write?"

vlraynes
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229
Somewhere... out there...
10 posted 2002-11-14 03:03 PM



Sweetpoet16m4u04~
Welcome to Passions!
I very much enjoyed this first post,
and I look forward to reading lots more from you.
~Vicky

"...until you have read the verse on his heart,
you have not truly met the poet.
~vlraynes

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