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StellarChica
Member
since 2002-07-06
Posts 207
floating down a river...

0 posted 2002-11-09 06:36 PM



What is beauty?
Is it that,
Perfect exterior,
You try so hard to find?

What is beauty?
Is it words,
Eloquently placed,
Painting pictures in your mind?

What is beauty?
Is it lovers,
Held together,
By a bond that will never break?

What is beauty?
Is it you,
Is it me,
Or is it what WE make?

What is beauty?
What is beautiful.


"Into this sea of waking dreams, I follow without pride. Nothing stands between us here and I won't be denied."-Sarah McLachlan

© Copyright 2002 Erin Reynolds - All Rights Reserved
Local Parasite
Deputy Moderator 10 Tours
Member Elite
since 2001-11-05
Posts 2527
Transylconia, Winnipeg
1 posted 2002-11-10 01:17 AM


The ending seems like you didn't put a lot of work into it.  You know, you kind of added "what is beautiful" out of nowhere, and it doesn't really change the question so much that it's conclusive.  Try to find a better way to wrap the whole poem up.  

Otherwise I like some of the concepts you've presented.  You could probably add a lot more though.

Parasite

Facts do not cease to exist because they are ignored.
~Aldous Huxley

Riley
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2002-07-18
Posts 1038
in the pouring rain
2 posted 2002-11-10 11:01 AM


Shataki mushrooms I hate saying this, but I agree with LP with there ......... yea, wha is beauty? Um....an unanswered question never to be found? GO figure.....go poem otherwisely.
Ri

~*I found how to laugh, forgot how to smile, somehow your words, make it all worthwhile*~

StellarChica
Member
since 2002-07-06
Posts 207
floating down a river...
3 posted 2002-11-10 02:30 PM


Ok. See, what I meant with the ending is like, Beauty is whatever you think is beautiful and it's not really something you can explain. If someone asks what beauty is, it's whatever is beautiful...It makes sense in my head, I dunno if it makes sense to anyone else, though. Eh.

"Into this sea of waking dreams, I follow without pride. Nothing stands between us here and I won't be denied."-Sarah McLachlan

vlraynes
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229
Somewhere... out there...
4 posted 2002-11-14 02:59 PM



StellarChica~
I really loved reading this...ending and all.
I thought you did a great job throughout the
piece and I thought the repition of the question
was quite effective.
I particularly enjoyed this...

    "What is beauty?
    Is it words,
    Eloquently placed,
    Painting pictures in your mind?"

Yes...it is.   LOVE that thought.
VERY nicely penned.
~Vicky

"...until you have read the verse on his heart,
you have not truly met the poet.
~vlraynes

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