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Teen Poetry #6
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devinechild22
Senior Member
since 2002-08-28
Posts 571


0 posted 2002-11-09 11:27 AM



Standing in the middle of the coluseum
He looks up at the crowd
They cheer as his heart beats faster
His partner is a weak one
He knows he has to fight for two

The sunlight blinds him
As the great wooden doors are opened
The men he is about to battle
Stand like great statues
They begin to charge towards him
He draws his sword and takes a breath

There is not boring moment
The loud cheers deafen the men
Many die and the gladiator lives on
He looks up into the crowd and is disgusted
"Are you not entertained?"

They all are silented and stare at this brave man
Who dares to speak the truth
He stares at the crowd and then retreats to the pit
Until we meet again.....

© Copyright 2002 Allison Colgrove - All Rights Reserved
devinechild22
Senior Member
since 2002-08-28
Posts 571

1 posted 2002-11-09 02:58 PM


ok I made a few mistakes....
silented= silenced
and it is sposed t be---There was not A boring moment...Just thought I`d fix those...
                   *Allison*

Local Parasite
Deputy Moderator 10 Tours
Member Elite
since 2001-11-05
Posts 2527
Transylconia, Winnipeg
2 posted 2002-11-10 12:39 PM


This is a bit more literal than the first one.  One of the tricky things about poem sequels is keeping the quality consistent, as you've learned...

You did have the narrative tone still present, but I would have done more to describe the visual sense of the poem, rather than the simple string of events.  

Nice work Allison... talk to you later on AIM.  

Parasite

Facts do not cease to exist because they are ignored.
~Aldous Huxley

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