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Teen Poetry #6
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EleanorMoonbaby
Member
since 2002-09-02
Posts 202
England, UK

0 posted 2002-11-08 12:42 PM


OK, here's what I did.... I got the weird thoughts in my head at the time and put them on paper as they appeared to me. WARNING TO PEDANTS!!!!!!! This "poem" contains use of extremely bad grammar!
----------------------------------------------------

Please don't tell me to smile
         (because I can't, not right now)

You said
        "You'll only be down if you let yourself"
I Try To Be Happy.

(Happy thoughts
       Memories
       Photos     }ALL ON A BONFIRE
       Songs)
But then it all fades

            (and then.... and then?)
             What happens and then?

       All the pretty stars and sparks
             (*FIREWORKS FOREVER*)
fade until it all goes cold and dark again and i just want to smack my head off a wall anything to feel
                   (returned)
and normal even if pain is my company

So sorry-
No, I'm not smiling right now.
Wait until the sun comes up tomorrow
And you never know.
*(i might smile for you)*

High above the mucky-muck, castle made of clouds; there sits Wonderboy, sitting oh so proudly....

© Copyright 2002 Eleanor Warren - All Rights Reserved
anya
Member
since 2002-07-27
Posts 393
London, UK
1 posted 2002-11-08 02:34 PM


Inspired by bonfire night yes? Anyway I liked the randomness of this, if that makes any sense, enjoyed reading this,

Anya

Local Parasite
Deputy Moderator 10 Tours
Member Elite
since 2001-11-05
Posts 2527
Transylconia, Winnipeg
2 posted 2002-11-10 12:27 PM


When I was reading this, the content had like four TV screens going on at the same time.  Freaky stuff.

I like how you'd talk about one thing and then just really abruptly move into another thing, like you banging your head against a wall.  And how you almost seemed to be going solid and then there was the appearance of a sunrise.

Really neat writing, Eleanor.  I never know what to expect from you.

Parasite

Facts do not cease to exist because they are ignored.
~Aldous Huxley

vlraynes
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229
Somewhere... out there...
3 posted 2002-11-14 02:31 PM



EleanorMoonbaby~
I really enjoyed this read.
I, too, like how your thoughts jumped around
a bit...made me HAVE to pay attention.
Nicely done.
~Vicky

"...until you have read the verse on his heart,
you have not truly met the poet.
~vlraynes

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