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Teen Poetry #6
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PoeticGoddessOfDepression
Member
since 2002-07-02
Posts 439
I am everywhere

0 posted 2002-11-07 09:59 PM



Join me here
On this throne.
Now, lets watch the world decay.

I dreamt a dream,
it seemed ... unreal.
Now, though, it seems to be evolving.

Join me here
On this throne.
Now, lets watch the world decay.

You've slipped among the broken.
They've ripped your crown away.
I stand as nothing without you...

Jaded here
On this throne
Nothing ever lasts.

"Life's just to depressing,
for me to want to live anymore"
I said,
while watching you decay.

Slowly picking your pieces up,
and I watch the deadly mob fade...


"I slipped away
farther from you,
trying to find what is real.
You're somebody else
that I never knew,
and someone that I cant feel."

[This message has been edited by PoeticGoddessOfDepression (11-09-2002 03:47 PM).]

© Copyright 2002 Sara Nicole - All Rights Reserved
dinky
Member
since 2002-10-19
Posts 258

1 posted 2002-11-08 02:04 PM


hey,
i liked this one
i will be the first to reply!
(i think)that smilie is da best!!(the evil lol one)
my signature keeps messin up!!
but this was good
~sam~

"sometimes i just feel like
quittin i still might
why do i put up this fight?
why do i still write?
sometimes its hard enough just dealin with re

PoeticGoddessOfDepression
Member
since 2002-07-02
Posts 439
I am everywhere
2 posted 2002-11-08 02:30 PM


ur signature's too long, thats why.
ew, tho man.. i was just reading this-- and it sux!! lol

ok ok ok.. so me and sam and jon were talkin before skool- and all of a suddent his girl that has a boyfriend grabbed his *butt*!!!

ahhhah! but then he made up this whole joke about it.. i dont know why i try, man.. lol.

foreverwithyou
Member
since 2002-10-20
Posts 204
Wonderland
3 posted 2002-11-08 06:47 PM


hey man i reallyz liked this one it was awesome haahaa im hyper yea sam ur signature is so0o0o long man u an ur eminem r just too much for me lol anywayz sara thatz just gross that jon grabbed your butt!!!member that one time anywayz im blowing in this pink bloon whistle thingy and its makin a really loud noise!!!lol bals ska dot

"I am who I am who I am who am I?"

PoeticGoddessOfDepression
Member
since 2002-07-02
Posts 439
I am everywhere
4 posted 2002-11-08 06:50 PM


Cathy, why aren't you on AIM??

NE way.. Jon didn't grab my ass...
it bumped into me, man.
that's his way of saying hello. (bumping into people, not grabbing thier butts! lol- at least thats what he said)
Yea, but thanx.. i didn't really like this one.. after a read it again.
And it's sad when u cant remember what your own poem's about-- thats when your poetry turns to poo!
lol

ttyl,

Sara

devinechild22
Senior Member
since 2002-08-28
Posts 571

5 posted 2002-11-09 11:02 AM


SARA! This was awesome! My favorite part:
     "Slowly picking your pieces up,
and I watch the deadly mob fade..."
    THAT PART WAS SOOOO GOOD. IN FACT THE WHOLE POEM WAS GOOD! Why do you think that your stuff is soo bad. It isn`t.
    My little sister is having her birthday party sleepover with 12 little 9 or 10 year olds!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. God save me! LOL
                *Allison*

anya
Member
since 2002-07-27
Posts 393
London, UK
6 posted 2002-11-09 12:05 PM


A very atmospheric piece, you created very vivid images, well done i enjoyed reading this very much

Anya

NSnaomian
Member
since 2002-07-22
Posts 232
In my troll closet I be
7 posted 2002-11-09 01:47 PM


Ooo, I enjoyed this, quite delightable!
I'd have to say my favorite part is  "You've slipped among the broken.
They're ripped your crown away."
But is the "They're" at the beginning of the second line there supposed to be They've? Just wonderin.
Great piece.

Laura

"I have seen what a laugh can do. It can transform almost unbearable tears into something bearable, even hopeful."
-Bob Hope-

Local Parasite
Deputy Moderator 10 Tours
Member Elite
since 2001-11-05
Posts 2527
Transylconia, Winnipeg
8 posted 2002-11-10 12:44 PM


Oh, I love it... lots of neat images for sure.  I would have liked it better if the title was "evolution" instead of "evolving."  

Parasite

Facts do not cease to exist because they are ignored.
~Aldous Huxley

Riley
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2002-07-18
Posts 1038
in the pouring rain
9 posted 2002-11-10 11:04 AM


I like the sit upon my throne watch the world decay. This is good, very neat, as LP, put it imaginarys. :P....Good job


Ri

~*I found how to laugh, forgot how to smile, somehow your words, make it all worthwhile*~

vlraynes
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229
Somewhere... out there...
10 posted 2002-11-14 02:53 PM



Sara~
Just had to jump in here and say that I really
enjoyed this piece as well.
It is quite well written and with some great
imagery as well.
Wonderfully done.
~Vicky

"...until you have read the verse on his heart,
you have not truly met the poet.
~vlraynes

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