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Darkness
Member

since 2002-10-17

Posts 202
The place just beyond my eyes, where my spirit flies.

0 posted 2002-11-07 01:20 PM

I don't know how to act,
When people are nice to me,
Because all they've ever done,
Is frown and look down on me.
Life is not worth it,
I can't take it anymore,
My whole sullen existence,
Is just an eyesore.
Here I am alone again,
Deep into that hole I sink,
Where smiles don't exist,
And eyes don't blink.
I gotta keep my head up,
Hope is on its way,
I'll go out and find myself,
The sun will rise someday.
This is gonna take some time,
My nerves I will not lack,
Numbness gone, I'll be myself again,
And I won't be comin' back.

vlraynes
Member Rara Avis

since 2000-07-25

Posts 8229
Somewhere... out there...

1 posted 2002-11-07 02:45 PM

Darkness~
There is a lot of emotion wrapped up in this write.
You've expressed these feelings very well.
I did like the twist of hope at the end.
I wish you all the best.
~Vicky
"...until you have read the verse on his heart,
you have not truly met the poet.
~vlraynes

aries_luv_ppl
Senior Member

since 2001-09-20

Posts 1448
Universal Mind

2 posted 2002-11-07 03:26 PM

well sometimes darkness floods the sky, but never let it pushes your wishes aside!

Eliza Simmons
~Sometimes when I look back at what I wrote, I don't recognize the 'Me' in the past anymore.

Local Parasite

Member Elite

since 2001-11-05

Posts 2527
Transylconia, Winnipeg

3 posted 2002-11-08 12:33 PM

I did like this, Darkness... especially this part:

quote:

Here I am alone again,
Deep into that hole I sink, Where smiles don't exist,
And eyes don't blink

Thought that was an interesting image, it grabbed my attention. Seems like you're equating mediocrity with catatonia. Very nice work.

Parasite

Is God willing to prevent evil, but not able? Then he is not omnipotent. Is he able, but not willing? Then he is malevolent.
Is he both able

dinky
Member

since 2002-10-19

Posts 258

4 posted 2002-11-10 12:10 PM

this was really good
i liked how u could just make the whole thing flow w/ the rhyming and evrything
it was good
~samantha~

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