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Teen Poetry #6
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Our Venemous Atmosphere
| Teen Poetry #6 |
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Our Venemous Atmosphere |
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StellarChica Member
since 2002-07-06
Posts 207floating down a river... |
Tick. Tock. The minutes go by. Counting, D O W N. To our final hour. This silence: A fatal poison. Seeping through the cracks, In the ((airtight)) door. We breath unknowingly, Not knowing, That we are, Inhaling our own death. A spoken word: Destined to be ravaged. By the toxic still, In the air. And the crimson second hand, Moves slower by the minute. ((Tick. . . .Tock.)) "They say you need to pray if you wanna go to heaven. They never tell you what to say when your whole life has gone to hell."-Brand New |
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| © Copyright 2002 Erin Reynolds - All Rights Reserved | |||
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foreverwithyou Member
since 2002-10-20
Posts 204Wonderland |
i thought that this poem was awesome in my opinion there is nothing that i noticed that needed to be done to change it good write  "I am who I am who I am who am I?" |
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Skyfire 
since 2000-12-27
Posts 3381Riding |
Silence is definately a fatal poison, and you've captured it well here  I'm so cute! |
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StellarChica Member
since 2002-07-06
Posts 207floating down a river... |
Thanks  [This message has been edited by StellarChica (11-07-2002 10:12 PM).] |
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Local Parasite
since 2001-11-05
Posts 2527Transylconia, Winnipeg |
This is the most suspenseful waiting-for-class-to-end poem that I've ever read. Heh, yeah well... even if it's not about that, that's what I thought of when you mentioned the crimson second hand... Seriously, Erin, I like this quite a bit. You're coming a long way in your writing...  Parasite |
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StellarChica Member
since 2002-07-06
Posts 207floating down a river... |
Haha. I actually did think this up during class after a test and I was sooo bored and it seemed to go on forever. |
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