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Teen Poetry #6
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Pollita
Member
since 2002-07-25
Posts 220
the unknown realm of insanity

0 posted 2002-11-05 07:45 PM



Moonlit shadows shade your face,
As lies inhale my mind.
I feel so helpless,
It's difficult for me to concentrate.
When I try to,
All I can think of is you.
I can't find a reason,
For me to care.
When you treat me the way you do,
I feel so worthless.
You sometimes hurt me,
More than you could ever imagine.
I never try to make you see me more than just a friend,
Because I no that would be hopeless.
I want to tell you how I really feel,
But I keep my emotions bottled up inside.
Do you know i'm alive,
Or Am I invisable?
I run and hide,
From what I feel for you.
It scares me,
Because I'm always thinking of you.
I care about you so much,
But you could care less about me.
I'm just a pawn,
I'll never mean a thing to you.
Are you truely my friend,
Or are you pretending again?
I can answer my own questions.
Because your just using me so when your 'friends' abondon you,
You'll have someone to cry on.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~**~8~*~**~*~*~**~*~
Yes I already know this one sucks major...But tell me what YOU think!
This piece:
SUCKS SUCKS SUCKS SUCKS SUCKS!
But oh well...It was worth a try to be creative!

© Copyright 2002 Delaniie Quirk - All Rights Reserved
PoeticGoddessOfDepression
Member
since 2002-07-02
Posts 439
I am everywhere
1 posted 2002-11-05 07:52 PM


Oh my. (lol)
this doesn't suck, i really like it, actually. If you don't mind, i'm going to add this to my private library..
it reminds me.. of this one guy i know.. and yea- guys suck!
heh.. anyway- great write!
HOPE TO BE READING MROE OF YOU,
~Sara

Pollita
Member
since 2002-07-25
Posts 220
the unknown realm of insanity
2 posted 2002-11-05 08:11 PM


No of course i don't mind...thats such an honor! really it is!
THANK YOU SO MUCH

dinky
Member
since 2002-10-19
Posts 258

3 posted 2002-11-05 09:12 PM


i luved this one!!
it doesnt suck at all it is far from it
it was fantastic
cant wait to read more
i think sara had a good idea, mind if this goes into my private library too???
good write
~sam~

!respect the alphabet!

Pollita
Member
since 2002-07-25
Posts 220
the unknown realm of insanity
4 posted 2002-11-05 09:13 PM


No I don't!....I'd LOVE for it to go in your private library! And THANK YOU SOOO MUCH FOR READING!
cherish
Senior Member
since 2001-03-25
Posts 1639
swimming in fairy floss...........
5 posted 2002-11-05 09:14 PM


eh...knew something was going on behind the barriers You know I'm here for you should you need me hun. Nice vent

Are you scared?                            BOO! Are you now?

Pollita
Member
since 2002-07-25
Posts 220
the unknown realm of insanity
6 posted 2002-11-05 09:17 PM


Aww thank you cherish...Hey do you think you can go on msn...Please i would love to talk to you...SOMETHING GOOD ACTUALLY HAPPENED TODAY!
Local Parasite
Deputy Moderator 10 Tours
Member Elite
since 2001-11-05
Posts 2527
Transylconia, Winnipeg
7 posted 2002-11-06 11:03 AM


aww Delaney... why am I not on your MSN?  

Nice vent indeed... hope all is well.

Parasite

Pollita
Member
since 2002-07-25
Posts 220
the unknown realm of insanity
8 posted 2002-11-06 06:34 PM


OMG IM SORRY!....WHAT'S YOUR E-MAIL ADDRESS...YOU'LL BE ON MY MSN...I'LL GET YOU ON THERE RIGHT AWAY...AGAIN-
Local Parasite IM SORRY!
I'll add you RIGHT NOW...Thank you...im going to write another poem tomorrow or tonight!

foreverwithyou
Member
since 2002-10-20
Posts 204
Wonderland
9 posted 2002-11-06 07:43 PM


have to say.........I LOVED THIS lol yea  anywayz how could u think that it suckeD?? u have to have some confidence in your poetry man!!but it was really good maybe it will go in my library too??well im sure u wont mind if another person putz this in their library specially me lol good write!

"I am who I am who I am who am I?"

NSnaomian
Member
since 2002-07-22
Posts 232
In my troll closet I be
10 posted 2002-11-06 08:26 PM


Nice work Delaney! I did enjoy this and your talent. Woowoo! Yay for you!

Laura

Real friends are those who, when you feel you've made a fool of yourself, don't feel you've done a permanent job.

Skyfire
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2000-12-27
Posts 3381
Riding
11 posted 2002-11-07 04:29 AM


*raises her eyebrows* Very emotional and well done
DancinQueen
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2000-07-29
Posts 1092
Kokomo,IN,USA
12 posted 2002-11-08 12:07 PM


OoooOOo...i liked this. "Are you truly my friend Or are you pretending again?" That suck out in my mind.  Nicely worded. Great job

-Kiley

**You can't always trust the people you want to**

knightlyshadows
Senior Member
since 2001-04-14
Posts 791
obscured vision
13 posted 2002-11-08 12:15 PM


*feels left out* can i be on your MSN too? You can get my addy on my profile I think.. *checks to make sure* anyways, i liked this alot. nice meaning you had going here.
really liked these two bits:
quote:
Moonlit shadows shade your face,
As lies inhale my mind.

and
quote:
I want to tell you how I really feel,
But I keep my emotions bottled up inside.
Do you know i'm alive,
Or Am I invisable?

post more.
:tiff:

“A single choice can build destinies, or destroy them.”

Getting away, isn't Running away.

"The hurt that you try to hide, is killing me."

Pollita
Member
since 2002-07-25
Posts 220
the unknown realm of insanity
14 posted 2002-11-08 07:49 AM


Aww tiff don't feel left out your already on my msn!
You just probably don't know who i am...LOL

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