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Teen Poetry #6
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Riley
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since 2002-07-18
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in the pouring rain

0 posted 2002-11-05 06:58 PM


ridiculed and mocked in a flirtatious sense
it's as if you don't realize people are alive
literal examples may be provided if you wished
even if you don't care, give a good fake, and go
yes, in fact, I am talking to you, do you want to know

~*I'm not gonna say I'm gorgeous, that for you to decide, if you really wanna know me, see the world through my eyes*~

[This message has been edited by Riley (11-05-2002 07:23 PM).]

© Copyright 2002 Riley Grant - All Rights Reserved
cherish
Senior Member
since 2001-03-25
Posts 1639
swimming in fairy floss...........
1 posted 2002-11-05 09:22 PM


eh....not really sure about what you were saying there. Your thoughts just seemed really disconnected, perhaps acrostics aren't your style?

Who knows practice makes perfect, right?

Are you scared?                            BOO! Are you now?

foreverwithyou
Member
since 2002-10-20
Posts 204
Wonderland
2 posted 2002-11-05 09:56 PM


i didnt understand whut u were really trying to say here so maybe u could tell me ??? if u want to u dont have to but i liked the use of your words in this one

"I am who I am who I am who am I?"

Riley
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in the pouring rain
3 posted 2002-11-06 08:24 AM


Ok, hold on here. Let me see if I can decipher this so you might understand better, this is my own little thing, and I understand it perfect so here goes....


ridiculed and mocked in a flirtatious sense

I was saying like that I am always made fun of jokingly and thats what this means.

it's as if you don't realize people are alive

This one is talking about the first line to, the person that mocks me doesn't realize that we really do have feelings.

literal examples may be provided if you wished

This is saying it has happened to many times to count and I can tell you countless stories about it.

even if you don't care, give a good fake, and go

Even if he really doesn't care, just fake it and go with it. Fake that you really do care for a while.

yes, in fact, I am talking to you, do you want to know

This means he doesn't really pay attention but he did this once and I am being a little sarcastic here.

Ok now that I have explained it you might get it. It deals with some little personal thing that I don't talk about to much, so maybe thats why you didn't get it or something like that.

Anywho, ok thankies for reading.


Riley

~*I'm not gonna say I'm gorgeous, that for you to decide, if you really wanna know me, see the world through my eyes*~

Local Parasite
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Transylconia, Winnipeg
4 posted 2002-11-06 11:10 AM


Ri, this is okay... but I'm going to have the respect and the balls to tell you I didn't really enjoy it a lot, personally.  I know it's an important subject matter and that it's close to the heart, but I think maybe you let the format choke out too much of your creativity?

Just my opinion of course... thanks for answering the challenge.  

Parasite

Riley
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in the pouring rain
5 posted 2002-11-06 07:03 PM


LP: Hey, I know, it did squeeze out my creativity, but I dunno. I tried, and didn't ever really like this style, so. Thanks anywayzzzzz. I tried.


Ri

~*I'm not gonna say I'm gorgeous, that for you to decide, if you really wanna know me, see the world through my eyes*~

foreverwithyou
Member
since 2002-10-20
Posts 204
Wonderland
6 posted 2002-11-06 08:06 PM


ok thanx for tellin me now i think i understand a lil better

"I am who I am who I am who am I?"

NSnaomian
Member
since 2002-07-22
Posts 232
In my troll closet I be
7 posted 2002-11-06 08:24 PM


I actually got it before you explained it, but thats just me. I think this is good and a good reply to the challenge. Yay for you!

Laura

Real friends are those who, when you feel you've made a fool of yourself, don't feel you've done a permanent job.

Skyfire
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Riding
8 posted 2002-11-07 04:13 AM


Woo, I understood it I'm not sure I like the way you've got the last line, but hey - you took the challenge head on, and THAT is the important thing Challenge met

I'm so cute!

aries_luv_ppl
Senior Member
since 2001-09-20
Posts 1448
Universal Mind
9 posted 2002-11-07 02:30 PM


I like it!

Eliza Simmons
~Sometimes when I look back at what I wrote, I don't recognize the 'Me' in the past anymore.

vlraynes
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229
Somewhere... out there...
10 posted 2002-11-11 04:20 PM



Riley~
Sorry I'm so late getting to this one.
Though it seems that some had trouble understanding
the message here, I had no trouble with that.
I understood and heard it loud and clear.
This style does tend to be rather restrictive,
so it's not surprising that it would choke a bit
of your creativity, especially when the style is new to you.
I think you did a fine job though.
Thanks for responding to the challenge, Riley.
I hope to see you on the next one too.
Hugs,
~Vicky

"...until you have read the verse on his heart,
you have not truly met the poet.
~vlraynes

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