Our Final Days - pipTalk Forums

How to Join	Member's Area	Private Library	Search	Sanctuary		Login
Main Forums	Discussion	Tech Talk	Mature Content	Archives	A home without a wall, Our haven without ends, A circle we all call Our Family of Friends!

PoetryIsLife

Senior Member

since 2001-10-27

Posts 1763
...in my boxers...

0 posted 2002-11-05 05:21 PM

I've been thinking;
do you want in?
Would you like to now?
What I've been wonderin' is...

Should I let you go.
Can you hear my heart is aching.
Should I let you go?
Won't you come and comfort
in our final days?

Constant sorrow constant joy.
You know my love should be fading.
It's for you that this heart beats.
Won't I ever find a resolution?

I've been thinking...

Should I let you go.
Can you hear my heart is aching.
Should I let you go?
Won't you come and comfort
in our final days?

I've been thinking...
this'll never fade.

So please, comfort me.

[This message has been edited by PoetryIsLife (11-05-2002 09:36 PM).]

Skyfire

Member Elite

since 2000-12-27

Posts 3381
Riding

1 posted 2002-11-05 09:21 PM

*hugs* knowing what I know, I want to write a sappy reply, but I can't come up with one that won't make this seem like I'm not taking you seriously. So instead I'll offer you a hug and make sure you know that you can always talk to me, no matter what. Detatched, my foot, Ti.

I'm always here for you dude. Always.

I'm so cute!

cherish
Senior Member

since 2001-03-25

Posts 1639
swimming in fairy floss...........

2 posted 2002-11-05 09:58 PM

This read like a song, were you intending it on being?

This felt rather sad, and we cant have our little Danniti feeling sad now can we? Cheer up mate

One thing that got me though; your use of punctuation is very...er...eclectic..

It threw the flow off a couple of times.
Other then that, I think you did ok

Are you scared? BOO! Are you now?

PoetryIsLife

Senior Member

since 2001-10-27

Posts 1763
...in my boxers...

3 posted 2002-11-05 10:09 PM

It's a song, Cherrygirl.

I like to say my music masqurades as poetry.

And, yes, it should be sad.

Sincerely,
Titus

"A life unexamined is not worth living."
-Socrates

Local Parasite

Member Elite

since 2001-11-05

Posts 2527
Transylconia, Winnipeg

4 posted 2002-11-06 11:13 AM

Eclectic is a great word... heh

I like this Titus... you wrote it very nicely. "heart is aching" is so overused though...

Yeah, well, keep doin' your own thing. I ain't stopping ya.

Parasite

vlraynes
Member Rara Avis

since 2000-07-25

Posts 8229
Somewhere... out there...

5 posted 2002-11-11 01:13 PM

Titus~
There is a lot of sadness in this song/poem,
and it's very beautifully expressed.
You are definately growing in your writing,
and I'm enjoying reading it.
I sincerely hope that things are looking up for you.
You, of all people, deserve to be happy.
Hugs,
~Vicky
"...until you have read the verse on his heart,
you have not truly met the poet.
~vlraynes

	⇧ top of page ⇧
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.