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Teen Poetry #6
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devinechild22
Senior Member
since 2002-08-28
Posts 571


0 posted 2002-11-05 05:04 PM



Green eyed
Jaded
You have no safe haven
You look on at her
Assuming what you will
Did you ever think to ask her?
Ask how her life has been?

She sits there smiling
And you think her life is perfect
Did you ever take the time?
You are just green eyed
Jaded

If you die unhappy
What was your life worth?
You could be so successful
But if you die unhappy
What was your life worth?
Green eyed
Jaded

© Copyright 2002 Allison Colgrove - All Rights Reserved
quietlydying
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2001-06-10
Posts 935
the wonderful land of oz
1 posted 2002-11-05 06:01 PM


just curious, what was your inspiration for this piece?

/jen/

what if they gave a war, and nobody came...

dinky
Member
since 2002-10-19
Posts 258

2 posted 2002-11-05 07:20 PM


this one was ok, i didnt like it as much as your other but it was good
~sam~

PoeticGoddessOfDepression
Member
since 2002-07-02
Posts 439
I am everywhere
3 posted 2002-11-05 09:02 PM


okay-- i dont get it..
but it reminded me of that "JEADED" song by arrowsmith.
lol
BIG LIPS!
is this about that dude?
i donno.
lol
take care

foreverwithyou
Member
since 2002-10-20
Posts 204
Wonderland
4 posted 2002-11-05 09:44 PM


Or is it about Jaden!!!!MUAHAHAHA u prolly dont no who that is but i will tell u it is my neighbor Dodie's daughterz daughter LOL anywayz i didnt understand this but i like the color JADE so good one

"I am who I am who I am who am I?"

Jester
Junior Member
since 2002-08-13
Posts 41
The dark corners of your mind
5 posted 2002-11-05 09:55 PM


i liked this...it was missing out on a little bit of flow...kind of jumpy in parts...but still good.  I understood it to mean that its not good to sit around being envious of what other people have..because maybe its not as good as it seems...and also that you'll never be able to achieve it by being envious and not working towards it.  Thats just my take on it.  Thanx for the read
devinechild22
Senior Member
since 2002-08-28
Posts 571

6 posted 2002-11-05 10:18 PM


yea..
  Cathy-I remember Jaden! when we were in the pool with her! Member?She was sooooo cue.
  Sara-yea...Lol like i`m gonna go up to Joey and just be like "HI i`l a freak how r u today?"lol
  And to the rest. I am aware that this wasnt my best. LOL And sam...I like my gladiator much more 2. LOL. bYe bye bye that u all for your replies.

Local Parasite
Deputy Moderator 10 Tours
Member Elite
since 2001-11-05
Posts 2527
Transylconia, Winnipeg
7 posted 2002-11-06 11:07 AM


I LOVE this... I don't see why all the other people don't, maybe it's just my taste... haha...

Seriously Devinechild, great work here... I'm glad to see that you're starting to get into more serious elements of poetry, and write about more universal concerns...

I love the thoughts in this piece, very deep.  Great writing... you're raising your own bar lately...

Parasite

vlraynes
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229
Somewhere... out there...
8 posted 2002-11-11 01:08 PM



devinechild~
I have to say that I really like this too.
So, LP, you're not alone.
I thought this was very well written
and I enjoyed reading it.
Nicely done.
~Vicky

"...until you have read the verse on his heart,
you have not truly met the poet.
~vlraynes

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