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Teen Poetry #6
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jAdE
| Teen Poetry #6 |
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jAdE |
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devinechild22 Senior Member
since 2002-08-28
Posts 571
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Green eyed Jaded You have no safe haven You look on at her Assuming what you will Did you ever think to ask her? Ask how her life has been? She sits there smiling And you think her life is perfect Did you ever take the time? You are just green eyed Jaded If you die unhappy What was your life worth? You could be so successful But if you die unhappy What was your life worth? Green eyed Jaded |
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| © Copyright 2002 Allison Colgrove - All Rights Reserved | |||
quietlydying
since 2001-06-10
Posts 935the wonderful land of oz |
just curious, what was your inspiration for this piece? /jen/ what if they gave a war, and nobody came... |
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dinky Member
since 2002-10-19
Posts 258 |
this one was ok, i didnt like it as much as your other but it was good ~sam~ |
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PoeticGoddessOfDepression Member
since 2002-07-02
Posts 439I am everywhere |
okay-- i dont get it.. but it reminded me of that "JEADED" song by arrowsmith. lol BIG LIPS! is this about that dude? i donno. lol take care |
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foreverwithyou Member
since 2002-10-20
Posts 204Wonderland |
Or is it about Jaden!!!!MUAHAHAHA u prolly dont no who that is but i will tell u it is my neighbor Dodie's daughterz daughter LOL anywayz i didnt understand this but i like the color JADE so good one  "I am who I am who I am who am I?" |
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Jester Junior Member
since 2002-08-13
Posts 41The dark corners of your mind |
i liked this...it was missing out on a little bit of flow...kind of jumpy in parts...but still good. I understood it to mean that its not good to sit around being envious of what other people have..because maybe its not as good as it seems...and also that you'll never be able to achieve it by being envious and not working towards it. Thats just my take on it. Thanx for the read |
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devinechild22 Senior Member
since 2002-08-28
Posts 571 |
yea.. Cathy-I remember Jaden! when we were in the pool with her! Member?She was sooooo cue. Sara-yea...Lol like i`m gonna go up to Joey and just be like "HI i`l a freak how r u today?"lol And to the rest. I am aware that this wasnt my best. LOL And sam...I like my gladiator much more 2. LOL. bYe bye bye that u all for your replies. |
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Local Parasite
since 2001-11-05
Posts 2527Transylconia, Winnipeg |
I LOVE this... I don't see why all the other people don't, maybe it's just my taste... haha... Seriously Devinechild, great work here... I'm glad to see that you're starting to get into more serious elements of poetry, and write about more universal concerns... I love the thoughts in this piece, very deep. Great writing... you're raising your own bar lately...  Parasite |
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vlraynes Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229Somewhere... out there... |
devinechild~ I have to say that I really like this too. So, LP, you're not alone.  I thought this was very well written and I enjoyed reading it. Nicely done. ~Vicky "...until you have read the verse on his heart, |
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