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Symbiosis (challenge #2)
| Teen Poetry #6 |
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Symbiosis (challenge #2) |
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Local Parasite
since 2001-11-05
Posts 2527Transylconia, Winnipeg 
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Symbiosis Lament for me a time and place to be O poetry, thou parasite of odds Couldst thou, if circumstance did sever thee Amend thy limbs with musings and facades? Lament for me, o parasite of odds. Pretentious few could celebrate thy clutch And yet, beget in lines what they had learn'd React to them, thou sorcerer of touch Admit what thy delusion doth entail Salute thy children, fallible and frail Impel the might of prose for which they've yearn'd That they predate, and offer thee a toast Eliciting the filth beyond thy host. [This message has been edited by Local Parasite (11-04-2002 07:29 PM).] |
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| © Copyright 2002 Brian James Lee - All Rights Reserved | |||
Kevin
since 1999-11-02
Posts 729Torrington, Ct, Usa |
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foreverwithyou Member
since 2002-10-20
Posts 204Wonderland |
i liked how u used old fashioned poet language or at least thats whut it sounds like to me but hey whut do i know??? good write tho man  "I am who I am who I am who am I?" [This message has been edited by foreverwithyou (11-04-2002 05:45 PM).] |
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Skyfire
since 2000-12-27
Posts 3381Riding |
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devinechild22 Senior Member
since 2002-08-28
Posts 571 |
I love this one! I someday hope to be as good as you. I hope that means something. I love the use of words and howthe flow went.Beautiful!  |
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Child of the Stars
since 2000-09-07
Posts 1658Ann Arbor, MI |
OOOoooooooh. It was just one of those. You know how it is. Keep being flawless, Sir Parasite.~Carly "My own eyes are not enough for me; I will see through a thousand and yet remain myself..." |
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chasing rain Senior Member
since 2001-05-15
Posts 737Canada |
Oh, if only we could sever thee and steal thy mind of genius...XD Leah "'Tis a spun!" "NAY! 'Tis a knafe!" "NAY! 'Tis a fark!" "AYE! 'TIS A FARK!!!" |
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Ina Senior Member
since 2000-10-09
Posts 1236Quebec, Canada |
haha..i just realized it was an acronym i think its called...(slaps head) oh well....i really enjoyed this Ina |
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PoeticGoddessOfDepression Member
since 2002-07-02
Posts 439I am everywhere |
...Whoa. Gosh.. I'm wordless again! I like the way you space your posting so greatly... but i hate the wait! You're VERY talented, and hope to read more of you- and soon! Take care, Sara |
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cherish Senior Member
since 2001-03-25
Posts 1639swimming in fairy floss........... |
 @ Ina...acronym...you're so cute.Wanna suck, bri? Are you scared? |
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cherish Senior Member
since 2001-03-25
Posts 1639swimming in fairy floss........... |
@ Ina...acronym...you're so cute.Wanna suck, bri? Are you scared? |
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PoetryIsLife
since 2001-10-27
Posts 1763...in my boxers... |
Superb. You have such an old fashioned, ancient, traditional yet dark and moody feel to the way you write. For whatever that was worth, lol. The write.... was not what I expected. Quite intruging though. By the way... did you recieve my email? I wanted to ask you a question, but never was made aware if my last one went through. Sincerely, Titus "A life unexamined is not worth living." |
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vlraynes Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229Somewhere... out there... |
Brian~ Just...WOW! As with any form of poetry that you attempt, you have gone far above and beyond. This is just an amazing write. I have to echo Ti. I really enjoy the 'old', classic style and vocabulary that you so often use. It definately helps makes your style unique. Extremely well done, my friend, and challenge MORE than met! ~Vicky "...until you have read the verse on his heart, |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
Couldst thou, if circumstance did sever thee Amend thy limbs with musings and facades? ================================== YOU could....ya know why??? cuz poetry flows thru your veins.... ya were born to write it!!! Dont doubt the moth...yeah...its a gift my very gifted friend...YOU take it to a higher plane... Pretentious few could celebrate thy clutch And yet, beget in lines what they had learn'd React to them, thou sorcerer of touch Admit what thy delusion doth entail Salute thy children, fallible and frail Impel the might of prose for which they've yearn'd That they predate, and offer thee a toast Eliciting the filth beyond thy host. ================================ Yeah...you rock...and so does thou muse No one has ever shown me how to see the world the way I see it now ... |
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Allysa
since 1999-11-09
Posts 1952In an upside-down garden |
Ok, fine. One thing... I WANT YOUR BRAIN.... or atleast your muse... great job, brian. I'm going to send you another email soon... keep you updated on the horrid thing that I call a life... ha. It's a soap opera, I swear. I'm going to get the whole world addicted to candy and then there will be no need for drugs or alcohol or war because everyone will be on a huge sugar high and be happy..... ok, maybe not. I've been eating WAY tooo much halloween candy... but it tastes so good... Yeah, enough of my ramblings... GREAT JOB MY DEAR~ "Wie ein Quadrat in einem Kreis, eck' ich immer wieder an obwohl ich doch schon lange weiß, daß ich niemals ändern kann." ~Wizo |
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Local Parasite
since 2001-11-05
Posts 2527Transylconia, Winnipeg |
foreverwithyou: Hey! Glad you enjoyed reading this... thanks for the reply. Allison: Who says you can't write as well as me? Some of your pieces really earn my envy, seriously. I know you're still finding your poetic self... but I see so much potential in what I read from you. Don't feel inferior to anyone here... we're all still growing. Carly: Will do. Leah: Hands off! >_< Thanks for the reply, though... why don't YOU respond to this challenge, huh? Ina: It's an acrostic... hehe... thanks for reading and replying. Sara: That's great! I'm going to pretend that I "space the posting" instead of just constantly having writer's block... lol Thanks for reading.Cherish: Thanks! Yes please. Cherish: Thanks! Yes please. Titus: Not what you expected? In terms of quality or content?  Yeah I got yer email, sorry if I didn't respond? I can't remember what it was, but if I ignored it, it was because it was one of your personal poetry advertisements. Maybe my junk mail filter caught it.Vicky: My critique message says I'm not here for an ego boost, but sometimes you make me wonder... Mothy: Ooh, someone's got her eye on me... I feel so special, I have to admit... heheh... thanks for all of your support. Allysa: I'm looking forward to the email. Thanks for reading, of course. And yeah, I like your plan to flood the world with sugar... if you need any help with it, I'm there. Kevin, Skyfire: Thank you both for your thoughtful, in-depth replies...  All of you, thanks for reading... and don't forget to take up the challenge yourselves, if you haven't already. Sara, I'm talking about you! Parasite |
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devinechild22 Senior Member
since 2002-08-28
Posts 571 |
I` sittin at home sick so I`ve just been replyin like mad to people`s poems. LOL. Thank you for what you said...But some of my stuff I think could be a lot better.LOL The down side of bein sick is that when you are sittin here at home...and all that food is just sittin there.....LOL. Darn those Girl Scout cookies!!!!!!LOL *Allison* |
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clumsy Member
since 2002-10-10
Posts 106canada. |
oooooOoooo *is impressed* |
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Allysa
since 1999-11-09
Posts 1952In an upside-down garden |
There are many of us (myself included) who sometimes feel inferior to the wonderful writings of you, my dear.... anyhow...come on, time to take over the world with candy. |
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LoveBug
Moderator
Member Elite
since 2000-01-08
Posts 4697 |
Alright, better late than never, eh? This is a wonderful piece... it's hard to make an acroustic into something as deep as this, but this just proves your talent. Wonderful work! I'll have to try mine.. sometime... Most of us go to our grave with our music still inside of us. |
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Spine Grinder Senior Member
since 2000-10-28
Posts 1127Standing In Silence... |
 WOW! You can close your eyes to things you dont want to see,but u cant close your heart to things you dont want to feel. |
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Riley
since 2002-07-18
Posts 1038in the pouring rain |
Good....great job Brian!!!!!!Ri ~*I found how to laugh, forgot how to smile, somehow your words, make it all worthwhile*~ |
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rimmie Junior Member
since 2002-08-09
Posts 45Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada |
Great job!!! Although overflown with envy I'm very impressed!!! ~RuZ~ [This message has been edited by rimmie (11-11-2002 08:59 PM).] |
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Fading Away
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131Lynchburg, Virginia |
Okay, I'm impressed... Quite amazing, Mister Parasite, Sir... I salutre your talent!  --Marie I wish your fingers could touch all I can't say... no one should ever feel this alone. |
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boy and his spirit Junior Member
since 2002-08-26
Posts 41within my heart |
i interpert you as my lover. love me like you loved me last night. love me so bad that a tear runs down my cheek to my chest. never forget what we did last night. remember it. like a love. |
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Wind
since 2002-10-12
Posts 2981 |
Good poem. I am deeply disturbed right now....."Sticks and stones will break my bones, |
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