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Kevin

Senior Member

since 1999-11-02

Posts 729
Torrington, Ct, Usa

0 posted 2002-11-03 08:27 PM

Eh, I sorta got lost in rhyme here but I'll post this anyway

I’m a student of incident
Fluent in consequence
Lost in the nonsense of
Book smart incompetence
Look at our confidence
What kind of path is this
Passing out class in degrees for the masses its
Fright’ningly tragic how fast it evolved to this
Half asleep slackers who halfway through called it quits
Racking up C’s while they coast through their major picks
Cutting the class of the teacher who called in sick
Stick to the streets and you’ll see where the scholars are
Learning where drugs and the guns and the dollars are
Knowing the pain sealed inside of a prison fence
Students of incident
Fluent in consequence

Dopey Dope

Moderator

Member Patricius

since 2000-08-30

Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico

1 posted 2002-11-04 10:44 AM

I know this all too well. I enjoyed this one. I thought the rhyme was fine, it made me real the poem slower. I hope others enjoyed this one as much as I did

This post has been brought to you by the 'Totally Awesome Society of Puerto Rican Egotistical Sexy Men'.

Local Parasite

Member Elite

since 2001-11-05

Posts 2527
Transylconia, Winnipeg

2 posted 2002-11-04 03:38 PM

I LOVE this. Triple rhyme...

  Killer!  lol

This is absolutely fabulous... your rhyming is superb and does nothing but improve the flow of the poem ten-fold.  The content is incredibly well expressed, and the poem's major shift occurred so rapidly that it was difficult to even notice.

This has got to be my favourite from you in Teen #6, Kevin.  Putting it in my library and giving you a very enthusiastic thumbs-up.

Awesome, Kev.

Parasite

Learn to place poetry before people
Before you place your poetry before the people.
~Andrey Kneller

devinechild22
Senior Member

since 2002-08-28

Posts 571

3 posted 2002-11-04 04:30 PM

I love it! Beautiful job kev..It is one of the best of yours for sure. It kind of reminded me of a poetic rap. It was very good. Great job!
*Allison*

Skyfire

Member Elite

since 2000-12-27

Posts 3381
Riding

4 posted 2002-11-04 08:59 PM

Woah Kevin! Wow, the rhyme was awesome, and the message was even better! How you combined both is beyond me

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