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Hallucination
Member

since 2001-03-18

Posts 419

0 posted 2002-11-02 04:52 PM

"Her Everything"
(02/11/02)
© 2002 Brian Eggertsen, All Rights Reserved

Verse 1
18 years without her touch / is 18 years too much /
Why haven't I seen her before / when she live almost next door /
Cause it makes no sense to me / but she's here now and I see /
That now's what really matter /what if I didn't have her /
All of the things I would have missed / I would have missed /

Chorus
The moments / the nights /
The love / the special times / her everything /
The secrets / the smiles /
The feel / of a new life / her everything /

Verse 2
I complete her and she me / emotions growing deep /
I know that we can make it / there's nothing here to breake it /
For we can live forever / won't let me, won't let her go /
But there's always that strange feeling / what if I'm just dreaming /
All the thing's that never came true / never came true /

Chorus
The moments / the nights /
The love / the special times / her everything /
The secrets / the smiles /
The feel / of a new life / her everything /

Bridge
Now I'm the only, only one / who shares what she has to give
Yes I'm the only, only one / who will ever live / to SEE...

Chorus
The moments / the nights /
The love / the special times / her everything /
The secrets / the smiles /
The feel / of a new life / her everything /

knightlyshadows
Senior Member

since 2001-04-14

Posts 791
obscured vision

1 posted 2002-11-03 11:33 AM

You wrote this nicely Brian. Except for a few spelling errors and junk, which isn't as important as the song itself, I have no complaints. If this is truely about someone you care for, I hope they eventually get to read/hear it. Write more, post more.

quote:
For we can live forever / won't let me, won't let her go /
But there's always that strange feeling / what if I'm just dreaming /
All the thing's that never came true / never came true

“A single choice can build destinies, or destroy them.”

Getting away, isn't Running away.

"The hurt that you try to hide, is killing me."

NSnaomian
Member

since 2002-07-22

Posts 232
In my troll closet I be

2 posted 2002-11-03 06:38 PM

Wow, I really like your ending, good endings always get to me. Yay, this was written very well. Great job.

Laura

Real friends are those who, when you feel you've made a fool of yourself, don't feel you've done a permanent job.

Local Parasite

Member Elite

since 2001-11-05

Posts 2527
Transylconia, Winnipeg

3 posted 2002-11-04 01:28 PM

Not bad... you've been doing a better job lately of picking less common ways of phrasing things. I always enjoy your work most when it seems more creative.

Great work here.

Parasite

Learn to place poetry before people
Before you place your poetry before the people.
~Andrey Kneller

vlraynes
Member Rara Avis

since 2000-07-25

Posts 8229
Somewhere... out there...

4 posted 2002-11-05 02:02 PM

Hallucination~
I REALLY enjoyed this one.
I'd have to say that this is my favorite of yours, thus far.
Very nicely done.
~Vicky

P.S. Don't forget to check out Teen Challenge #2!
"...until you have read the verse on his heart,
you have not truly met the poet.
~vlraynes

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