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Teen Poetry #6

Beneath The Mantle

HopelessRomanticGuy
Member

since 2001-08-17

Posts 495
LI, New York

0 posted 2002-10-30 09:38 PM

I sit near her
A little to the left
I look inside her
And my soul does rest

She is like a candle
Lighting my darkened skies
And beneath the mantle
Inside, I wish she'd be mine

******************************************

Just a little something I wrote while staring at this girl in class, lol, Hey! I was bored! lol

After Love comes Pain, then Love, Then Pain, then Love, then Pain..... does anyone else see a pattern here? Oh well, can't say it's not worth it.

[This message has been edited by HopelessRomanticGuy (10-30-2002 09:39 PM).]

foreverwithyou
Member

since 2002-10-20

Posts 204
Wonderland

1 posted 2002-10-30 10:11 PM

liked it man liked it I liked how u compared her to a candle that was kewl

devinechild22
Senior Member

since 2002-08-28

Posts 571

2 posted 2002-10-31 08:29 AM

I loved it! Great job. The metaphores and similies were just perfect! I love your writing. Keep it up........
P.S. Good luck with the math gal..Lol

*Allison*

WinterWren
Senior Member

since 2002-12-01

Posts 1044
...Coming to

3 posted 2002-12-04 07:02 PM

*Bows*

WinterWren
"I want you to believe in life. Will you find out who you are too late, to change? -Dishwalla-

Smoothy
Member

since 2002-12-02

Posts 119
The dark side of the moon

4 posted 2002-12-04 08:04 PM

Hmm. When I'm bored in class I rarely stay awake long enough to look at "you know who"! Definitely a nugget of gold in a bucket of coal.

vlraynes
Member Rara Avis

since 2000-07-25

Posts 8229
Somewhere... out there...

5 posted 2002-12-11 02:36 AM

HopelessRomanticGuy~
Well, you have lived up to your name with
this romantic piece.
Very nicely done.
~Vicky
"...until you have read the verse on his heart,
you have not truly met the poet.
~vlraynes

wvplayernotreally
Member

since 2002-11-06

Posts 215
yakima wa

6 posted 2002-12-12 08:16 PM

nice poem...you can write me poetry any time! haha good job

" I think I got a tan from the light in which i was basking."

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