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Teen Poetry #6
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LegalSecret69
Member
since 2003-06-04
Posts 69
Virginia

0 posted 2003-06-09 03:07 PM


Her shy tears crept out of her soft blue eyes,
and streamed down her cheek with grace
They quickly reached her pale pink lips,
and formed a shimmering chain of lace
With every blink of her tired eyes
another silver tear would fall
Each one, scared to run,
so gently they would crawl
Each little tear would kiss the scars
and cuts that they would pass
They'd place a silver band-aid,
so that the hurting wouldn't last
Finally, when the tears were done,
they would sadly fall to her feet
Then again, they'd blur her eyes,
for eyes are where all tears meet....

© Copyright 2003 Jessica - All Rights Reserved
idleeyes86
Member
since 2003-06-09
Posts 64
Somewhere over the rainbow
1 posted 2003-06-09 03:55 PM


I really like the silver band aid bit, (how ironic as it kinda contradicts the poem I wrote about tears) But you really made use of the almost reluctance tears fall from your eyes much in the same way many people are scared to show them. Teardrop poems can become very cliched whereas you had a completely different approach to it
laurie
Member
since 2003-05-28
Posts 153
canada, ontario
2 posted 2003-06-10 12:30 PM


beautiful, secret.
simply beautiful.
l have to agree with idleeyes86, my favorite line is the bit with silver bandaid.
laurie.

BrokenDreams
Member
since 2003-02-09
Posts 425
In The Clouds
3 posted 2003-06-10 12:41 PM


Well I was gonna out my faorite part but I like the whole thing so I think I'll just put it into my library. I think I like the beginning the best...
*Jen*

If you listen hard enough silence can mean more than words.

Toasty
Member
since 2003-06-09
Posts 74
my little hole in wisconsin
4 posted 2003-06-10 03:34 PM


wow. this is simply beautiful. no other way to describe it. excellent. I'm adding this to my personal library. Keep up the good work! :0)

"Nothing is so strong as gentleness; Nothing so gentle as real strength."  -Francis de Sales.

infinite disaster
Member
since 2003-06-01
Posts 69
Illinois
5 posted 2003-06-10 04:01 PM


wow. that was so beautifully written. i liked it a lot! keep up the great work. much love.
LegalSecret69
Member
since 2003-06-04
Posts 69
Virginia
6 posted 2003-06-10 04:28 PM


hey you guys...thanks so much for all of your replies...they really made my day. You guys are the greatest!!!   ESP, thanks for the reply, and noticing my spelling error..haha.      Well, I'll be posting...and also looking out for some of yalls peoms...so I can read and reply as well. Thanks again   -Secret
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