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Teen Poetry #6
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HopelessRomanticGuy
Member
since 2001-08-17
Posts 495
LI, New York

0 posted 2002-10-29 09:08 PM


Well, I gotta say, it's been a while once again.I disspaeared into the real world, it all caught up with me.Had alotta stuff to take care of, but I'm back.Also, I realized I had alotta poetry written down, so I spent a few days typing it up, but it's all done!Well, without further adieu, here it is:


Alone I stand
Raging tourment
Swirling sand
My soul all bent

I feel love
It turns to fear
Tourents of rain from above
Fall upon me like tears

I look to you
Unsure of what to do
I think I feel
But is it real?

I've been cold so long
That I don't know if I belong
In this world that's true
I don't know if I deserve you

After Love comes Pain, then Love, Then Pain, then Love, then Pain..... does anyone else see a pattern here?  Oh well, can't say it's not worth it.

© Copyright 2002 Richard H. Dikeman - All Rights Reserved
devinechild22
Senior Member
since 2002-08-28
Posts 571

1 posted 2002-10-29 09:15 PM


Good one. Maybe that break helped unclog your creative flow. lol. I really liked the whole idea of the poem. I love how you write. Keep it up. And welcome back.
             *Allison*

foreverwithyou
Member
since 2002-10-20
Posts 204
Wonderland
2 posted 2002-10-29 09:59 PM


I liked this man and thank u for replying to my poem no matter how gay it might have been!!
xShUgArHiGhx
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2000-09-26
Posts 3150
tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs
3 posted 2002-10-29 10:10 PM


I liked this one hun. LIfe is full of so many uncertainties but thats what keeps us going and makes things interesting. Your answers will come to you soon enough. Thanks for sharing

Sometimes I get so weird
I even freak myself out
I laugh myself to sleep
It's my lullaby

aVriL lAvIgNe

Local Parasite
Deputy Moderator 10 Tours
Member Elite
since 2001-11-05
Posts 2527
Transylconia, Winnipeg
4 posted 2002-10-30 12:41 PM


Rather well done, Hopeless.  Great to see you posting again.  

I think the last line of this poem is too long, and it's harmful to the flow.  Otherwise I liked the consice, yet effective use of imagery...

Hope you stick around this time.  

Parasite

Learn to place poetry before people
Before you place your poetry before the people.
~Andrey Kneller

WinterWren
Senior Member
since 2002-12-01
Posts 1044
...Coming to
5 posted 2002-12-04 07:01 PM


I stand humbled in the shadow of your greatness. *bows* I think from now on since you have so many great poems Im just gonna bow in the replies if I like 'em. which Im sure I will.

WinterWren
"I want you to believe in life. Will you find out who you are too late, to change? -Dishwalla-

Avis
Junior Member
since 2002-12-01
Posts 38
Raleigh, NC, USA
6 posted 2002-12-04 07:04 PM


I just love the way that you change rhyme schemes every stanza. That kicks ass. Keep it up, dude!

Peace and Love,
~KEV~

IM me at Tempus Vivo

Smoothy
Member
since 2002-12-02
Posts 119
The dark side of the moon
7 posted 2002-12-04 07:50 PM


I think if you and I keep posting stuff like this, we'll corner the market within months!lol. Seriously, I know you have a track record of excellence and this keeps the average at a high. Good work.
palmerj
Junior Member
since 2002-11-06
Posts 30
Coxsackie, NY
8 posted 2002-12-04 08:58 PM


Holy crud! I am experiencing the same thoughts about this girl I like sooo much.  It stinks =(
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