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Teen Poetry #6

tears

roxywrestlegirl04
Member

since 2002-10-29

Posts 74
good ole DINWIDDIE

0 posted 2002-10-29 06:52 PM

tears are hot, molten lava
exploding painfully from the face of the mountain

they flow continuously
fast at first
then crawling
slow
fiery with emotion
they trickle hot and heavy

until

they just cant run anymore

foreverwithyou
Member

since 2002-10-20

Posts 204
Wonderland

1 posted 2002-10-29 07:36 PM

hey this was good I liked it keep wrightin

devinechild22
Senior Member

since 2002-08-28

Posts 571

2 posted 2002-10-29 09:02 PM

I liked this.Very nice imagery. Good one.
*Allison*

Local Parasite

Member Elite

since 2001-11-05

Posts 2527
Transylconia, Winnipeg

3 posted 2002-10-30 12:35 PM

This is very cool. I like how you took the concept of tears and made it seem suspenseful and frightening. Definitely a good write.

Parasite

Learn to place poetry before people
Before you place your poetry before the people.
~Andrey Kneller

roxywrestlegirl04
Member

since 2002-10-29

Posts 74
good ole DINWIDDIE

4 posted 2002-10-30 04:20 PM

thatnx for the input...yet again.....ha ha.......i liked this one to.....it was an assignment in creative writing...ha ha....see kids...good things CAN come out of school.......ha ha....anywayz....give me a lil more critisizm

anawnda
Member

since 2002-07-26

Posts 113

5 posted 2002-10-31 06:04 AM

loved the vivid imagery of the piece, loved it!!!! =)

cherish
Senior Member

since 2001-03-25

Posts 1639
swimming in fairy floss...........

6 posted 2002-10-31 09:44 PM

Loved this, you need no criticism on this, cuz it doesnt have a flaw I can see in it

Nice writing, even if it is just for an assignment

Are you scared? BOO! Are you now?

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