rivermaya - pipTalk Forums

How to Join	Member's Area	Private Library	Search	Sanctuary		Login
Main Forums	Discussion	Tech Talk	Mature Content	Archives	A home without a wall, Our haven without ends, A circle we all call Our Family of Friends!

anawnda
Member

since 2002-07-26

Posts 113

0 posted 2002-10-25 04:28 AM

you, me
caught in this twisted tragedy
of me wanting-you-wanting-someone else,
everynight I stay up,
thinking of you
while you lie peacefully somewhere
dreaming of her.

And I know,
I'm not the only one,
trapped in your careless web.

but you'll never know
why I drank that night
when I saw you looking at her
while singing your
stupid lovesongs.

I'll only smile if
you'll ask if I'm ok.

you'll never see me crumble,
you'll just hear me mumble something
and then walk away.
not daring to look back
and show these eyes,
brimming with unshed tears...

***
for rico ( "Himala"(miracle) pangarap ko'y makita kang naglalaro sa buwan....hindi mahanap sa lupa ang pag-asa, nakikiusap nalang.... )

[This message has been edited by anawnda (10-25-2002 04:30 AM).]

Local Parasite

Member Elite

since 2001-11-05

Posts 2527
Transylconia, Winnipeg

1 posted 2002-10-25 11:11 AM

I love the title.  For some reason, this is the second time that you've reminded me of Hindu culture.  Not only your username being Hindi for "bliss," but the title, rivermaya, contains the word "maya" which means perceptive illusion.

The title is great, and I give you an A+ on it.

The poem itself is also quite good, you've done a lot of neat things with it... I like where you mentioned "I'll only smile if you'll ask if I'm ok."  That's realy neat... I like that thought, and understand it myself.

Very nice writing, Anawnda.  Always a treat to see your name in these pages, and I hope you try not to be a stranger in the future.

Parasite

Learn to place poetry before people
Before you place your poetry before the people.
~Andrey Kneller

Pollita
Member

since 2002-07-25

Posts 220
the unknown realm of insanity

2 posted 2002-10-25 11:23 AM

This was a wonderful piece...I LOVED IT!
I agree with Local Parasite it is a treat to see that you have witted another poem!!!!!

This is so true...I totally loved this...
It's like thats what happens to me...Sometimes...
and on the other time....It's also so cool...
Keep writting

Dopey Dope

Moderator

Member Patricius

since 2000-08-30

Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico

3 posted 2002-10-25 07:42 PM

Very well done here. I liked the poem a lot, especially the ending of it.
I didn't understand those words in the end because they weren't english...or spanish for that matter...hope no bad words were in there

well done on the poem. I look forward to more.

This post has been brought to you by the 'Totally Awesome Society of Puerto Rican Egotistical Sexy Men'.

NSnaomian
Member

since 2002-07-22

Posts 232
In my troll closet I be

4 posted 2002-10-25 07:51 PM

I really liked this a lot, very nice words and I love the emotion.
I've read some of your others and you have some great talent.
My favorite part would be the last line, referring to your eyes, "brimming with unshed tears..." I don't know what made it so special but I really enjoyed it.
Great job! Yay for you!

Laura~

Real friends are those who, when you feel you've made a fool of yourself, don't feel you've done a permanent job.

anawnda
Member

since 2002-07-26

Posts 113

5 posted 2002-10-29 03:47 AM

actually the lines on the lastpart meannt; himala(miracle)pangarap ko'y(my dream is)makita kang(to see you)naglalaro sa buwan(playing in the moon)...hindi mahanap sa lupa(couldnt find on this earth)ang pagasa(hope)nakikiusap nalang(im just asking for.....)

its part of a a song actually

	⇧ top of page ⇧
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.