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Teen Poetry #6
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Spine Grinder
Senior Member
since 2000-10-28
Posts 1127
Standing In Silence...

0 posted 2002-10-24 07:07 PM



Swaying softly in,
a moonlight breeze- radiant.
Fireflies and crickets,
buzz and chirrup- constant.
Deep in the Hollow,
perfumed air in the night- lonesome.
A fog slowly,
coming down- settling.
To hide the horrors,
of the beastly woods- sorrowful.
A carriage full of shadows,
twists through the leaves- churning.
And then winter comes,
and the snow covers everything- placated.

You can close your eyes to things you dont want to see,but u cant close your heart to things you dont want to feel.

© Copyright 2002 Staci Weidner - All Rights Reserved
quietlydying
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2001-06-10
Posts 935
the wonderful land of oz
1 posted 2002-10-24 07:44 PM


this piece had some very strong imagery.  it was well played out and i applaud you.

and seeing as my mind does have very associative and reminiscent tendencies, this very much reminded me of the headless horseman, a story that truly freaked me out as a kid.

with a dash of jack the ripper.  i don't think that was what you were going for, but that's what i thought of.  heh.  each to their own.

very well done.



/jen/

what if they gave a war, and nobody came...

anawnda
Member
since 2002-07-26
Posts 113

2 posted 2002-10-25 05:50 AM


beautiful, reminds me of autumn night and the sleepy hollow, hehe
Local Parasite
Deputy Moderator 10 Tours
Member Elite
since 2001-11-05
Posts 2527
Transylconia, Winnipeg
3 posted 2002-10-25 11:22 AM


This is definitely very original, Steph.  I really, really like what you did with the hyphens pointing to the adjectives.  It's neat, kind of reminded me of cinquain format, only put into a line...

Awesome descriptive writing, too... this is definitely one of my favourites from you, if not simply my very favourite.  You're really growing as a writer.

Parasite

Learn to place poetry before people
Before you place your poetry before the people.
~Andrey Kneller

Spine Grinder
Senior Member
since 2000-10-28
Posts 1127
Standing In Silence...
4 posted 2002-10-25 04:27 PM


I'm glad u all liked this..i wasnt sure if it would sound rite, but i'm glad u liked it, o and LP, just 4 future references, my name's Staci lol

You can close your eyes to things you dont want to see,but u cant close your heart to things you dont want to feel.

Dopey Dope
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Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
5 posted 2002-10-25 07:30 PM


I loved this one. Very well written. This is a great poemt. I'm glad I read it.

This post has been brought to you by the 'Totally Awesome Society of Puerto Rican Egotistical Sexy Men'.

Local Parasite
Deputy Moderator 10 Tours
Member Elite
since 2001-11-05
Posts 2527
Transylconia, Winnipeg
6 posted 2002-10-25 11:20 PM


Oh yeah!!  Knew it was an S name.  Sorry Staci.  
Marshalzu
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since 2001-02-15
Posts 2681
Lurking
7 posted 2003-01-30 04:08 AM


Great Imagery here, very well written and a pleaasure to read, thanks for sharing

Andrew

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