navwin » Archives » Teen Poetry #6 » more than just that
Teen Poetry #6
Post A Reply Post New Topic more than just that Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
foreverwithyou
Member
since 2002-10-20
Posts 204
Wonderland

0 posted 2002-10-23 09:34 PM



I want you to be my best friend and my boyfriend too
But I will never be able to tell this to you
If you're in love with some popular girl
I don't compare with any of them
So go let me see you we can just stay friends
Even though I wanted to see our friendship bend
Into a little more than just best friends
Maybe hold my hand once in a while
Put my phone number on your speed dial
And then love me  
Like I love you

© Copyright 2002 Cathy - All Rights Reserved
foreverwithyou
Member
since 2002-10-20
Posts 204
Wonderland
1 posted 2002-10-23 09:35 PM


I didn't like this one alot but I hope everyone else does....:-\
Local Parasite
Deputy Moderator 10 Tours
Member Elite
since 2001-11-05
Posts 2527
Transylconia, Winnipeg
2 posted 2002-10-24 03:04 PM


This is cute, kind of reminds me of something I would expect to read in a love letter that falls out of my locker, or something...

I think it's obvious that what you were going for in this poem was a simple expression of feeling, and you've accomplished that quite well.  Nicely done and keep posting.

Parasite

Learn to place poetry before people
Before you place your poetry before the people.
~Andrey Kneller

devinechild22
Senior Member
since 2002-08-28
Posts 571

3 posted 2002-10-24 04:32 PM


Cath,
    Now that I know its you.....LOL I liked this. IS it about "someone very special with a spine" lol. I have a suggestion......Maybe if I were writing this I would`ve made all of the lines rhyme or none ryme. Just a thought.I liked it tho.Good job! Keep postin.    

dinky
Member
since 2002-10-19
Posts 258

4 posted 2002-10-24 04:53 PM


hey,
ok...
this wasnt my fav out of yours but i really liked it, actually i dont know what my fave one is cuz they are all really really good
good write(i cant say my experience or feelings or somthin like that cuz i wasnt asked, learned that in fcs today, actually i think it was just for a conversation)
it seems familiar to me
u no, not bein able to compare to those popular grls
anywayz i will stop writin a book and just put 2 words to sum it up, wait maybe 3, yea 3
really good write
~sam~

Dopey Dope
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
5 posted 2002-10-25 04:05 PM


I thought this was pretty well done. I hope to read more from you

This post has been brought to you by the 'Totally Awesome Society of Puerto Rican Egotistical Sexy Men'.

Kaytay0615@cs.com
New Member
since 2002-10-27
Posts 2
Indiana, USA
6 posted 2002-10-27 06:35 PM


It was good but cathy come on you can do better!

~Kate~

PoeticGoddessOfDepression
Member
since 2002-07-02
Posts 439
I am everywhere
7 posted 2002-11-02 11:03 PM


"Aand i will love you more than that- i wont say the words, and take them back, dont let lonelyness advance" or soemthing like that...
i hate the backstreet boys, but your poem reminded me of them..those little pansies- in the fields of flowers..
aww.. i like flowers.
(lol, good cover!)
good work, man.. besides the backstreetboysish title.

Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Teen Poetry #6 » more than just that

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary