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Teen Poetry #6
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Surreal
Junior Member
since 2002-10-21
Posts 35
Paris

0 posted 2002-10-23 01:39 PM


I had a dream….
That I flew last night, right past the gentle curve of your arms
And the thorns tore through my skin
Revealing the pulsing heart underneath the wings
“Why do you weep my love?  Is summer not long enough for you to hold a tear?”
And the dove sighed in protest
As if the broken fingers seeking redemption were an echo
Of yesterday’s solemn goodbye
Counting the days by the colors of your hair isn’t something
I can remark upon frequently
It just seems sinful to turn a language into a requiem
And there you are, green eyes and wholesome skin
But not so whole as first appeared, as my fingers dip through the illusion
(Forsake the dream and fall into today)
It’s so hard to listen to myself when I know I’m right


Glory is a silent thing-- Mineral

© Copyright 2002 Jean - All Rights Reserved
Local Parasite
Deputy Moderator 10 Tours
Member Elite
since 2001-11-05
Posts 2527
Transylconia, Winnipeg
1 posted 2002-10-23 02:04 PM


This is sad... and oh-so well written.  I read this over three times and intend to read it a few more times after I post this reply.  I love your style, the depth of your words... the way you phrase everything.  About how it seems sinful to turn a language into a requiem... that is so profound... really made me sit up and take notice of the poem.

This poem rings of creativity and talent of which I am envious... I do applaud you and am elated that you've made your nest in the Teen forum.

I can't wait to read more from you.  This poem is my private library entry for today.

Parasite

Learn to place poetry before people
Before you place your poetry before the people.
~Andrey Kneller

Dopey Dope
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
2 posted 2002-10-23 03:10 PM


I find your pieces to be very thought provoking and profound. I really love your style. Your poems impress me, well the 2 that i've seen
Well done on this one.

This post has been brought to you by the 'Totally Awesome Society of Puerto Rican Egotistical Sexy Men'.

anya
Member
since 2002-07-27
Posts 393
London, UK
3 posted 2002-10-23 03:52 PM


Beautiful, just beautiful, i enjoyed this very much, it flowed well and you phrasing was eloquent and origional, well done and I will look forward to reading more from you,

Anya

Darkness
Member
since 2002-10-17
Posts 202
The place just beyond my eyes, where my spirit flies.
4 posted 2002-10-23 08:06 PM


This poem was one of the best I've read. I love your style. You think deep, and I hope to read more from you.

Very nice poem
Incredible


Darkness  

SailorFirebird
Junior Member
since 2002-10-21
Posts 16
15 Miles North of NoWhere
5 posted 2002-10-28 01:59 PM


one word...awesome!  you've really made me think. which, i admit is a hard thing to do.

I am Sailor Firebird! Defender of...ummm, STUFF! Behold my clarinet, vito, and the wrath of a squeeky reed!

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