What Happened? It Just Got Old.

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StellarChica
Member

since 2002-07-06

Posts 207
floating down a river...

0 posted 2002-10-21 11:29 PM

See,
I told you.
(You didn't believe me. You're an optimist.)
This distance has killed us,
I just got tired of waiting.
(Waiting for what? A miracle? I dunno..)
It wasn't official,
We just stopped.
(Stopped talking like we were two kids in love..)
Did you even feel that way?
I never got a straight answer.
(But we were both pretty obvious.)
So,
No more letters.
(Yours were always so cryptic and I just babbled in mine.)
I guess,
I'm saying I'm done with you.
(I love you.)

*~erin~*

Marshalzu

Member Elite

since 2001-02-15

Posts 2681
Lurking

1 posted 2002-10-22 09:22 AM

I like this, it's different to a lot of poems I've read and to some extent I can identify with it, nice write keep up the good work

Andrew

Local Parasite

Member Elite

since 2001-11-05

Posts 2527
Transylconia, Winnipeg

2 posted 2002-10-22 10:07 AM

This is pretty good... I think you should have made the parts in parentheses a bit less predictable. Instead of tossing them in every three lines, maybe you could have made the assortment a bit more random so the reader does't grow so accustomed to it...

Just my two cents. Nice work, good to see you trying out new styles as well.

Parasite

Learn to place poetry before people
Before you place your poetry before the people.
~Andrey Kneller

anya
Member

since 2002-07-27

Posts 393
London, UK

3 posted 2002-10-22 12:40 PM

I like this alot, especially the title, it is so true, anyway well done

Anya

Dopey Dope

Moderator

Member Patricius

since 2000-08-30

Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico

4 posted 2002-10-23 12:52 PM

I know how this is completely. But check this......if you think too much about negative outcomes, it's more than likely to happen. Your mind just naturally inclines to what you're thinking as if you were discriminating from positivity without wanting to, as a protective sheild. However, its this shield that kills the situation. I'm in the same thing, a long distance relationship. Just stay cool and appreciate what you have while you have it. I realize that you can't compare two things that are completely different such as a long distance relationship and one where the two parties see each other everday.
It makes no sense, and therefore you try to reason these differences in your head...apply the same rules and inevitably lose sight of what you originally admired and loved about the person.
Stay focused on whats important.

Good luck with the situation.

Ps: I love the ending.

This post has been brought to you by the 'Totally Awesome Society of Puerto Rican Egotistical Sexy Men'.

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