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Teen Poetry #6
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MRM
| Teen Poetry #6 |
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MRM |
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PoeticGoddessOfDepression Member
since 2002-07-02
Posts 439I am everywhere |
Novocain You've made me numb all over.. I can't feel your lips. Be gentile. You have me, own me. Something strange is possessing me. Slave... You make me feel all over... I can feel your hands. Be gentile. You have me, own me. I can feel you wanting me. Waste... You made me hurt all over... I could feel your vibes. Telling me, You have me, own me. I couldn't feel you, lying to me. Forget this. Forget you. But if only it was that easy... to forget our arms around me, your lips tasting mine, forget the world you sowed me, to just leave you behind... I wish you hadn't been so right. dream me victory... |
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| © Copyright 2002 Sara Nicole - All Rights Reserved | |||
Android 17
since 2001-07-21
Posts 664Winnipeg |
Heh, I actually liked this! It explains alot how I tend to feel sometimes. Good work on this peice! E muja oui, "Hyweyr". Pavune E lyh raym ouin byeh, E ryja du kad ujan so ufh... |
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Riley
since 2002-07-18
Posts 1038in the pouring rain |
I loved it, especially that repeating couple of lines, that really pulled it together....awesome piece...... Riley ~* Love humiliates you, hatered cradles you-White Olender *~ |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
Wow, really powerful work here. I loved it. Seriously. The last line completely rocked. Everything rocked. A poem VERY well done. I am impressed.  This post has been brought to you by the 'Totally Awesome Society of Puerto Rican Egotistical Sexy Men'. |
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Match Member
since 2002-07-01
Posts 286Canada Edmonton |
I rally loved this one, and the last line was very well said. Why do they always have to be right? YOUR INSULTS AND YOUR CURSES MAKE ME FEEL LIKE IM NOT A PERSON ~Staind~ |
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Local Parasite
since 2001-11-05
Posts 2527Transylconia, Winnipeg |
Great work! The structure blew me away... you pulled this off extremely well. I'm also quite impressed by this poem. But can you explain the title please? I must be missing its meaning... or maybe I've just never heard of MRM before...  Parasite Learn to place poetry before people |
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dinky Member
since 2002-10-19
Posts 258 |
i really like this one i am tryin to make a good reply cuz this is my first one and i still think that u should have a book made not me keep writin cant wait to see ur next one |
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PoeticGoddessOfDepression Member
since 2002-07-02
Posts 439I am everywhere |
dude 6 replies!!! cool. Andriod~ I'm glad this wasn't a waste of time to you. Riley~ I tend to do that a lot, leave a few lines the same. A friend of mine, said he liked that too, I'm glad you did. Dopey~ I'm so excited to have the 'Totally Awesome Society of Puerto Rican Egotistical Sexy Men' replying to my topic!!! lol thanks! Match~ I'm glad you rally liked this.  They should always be wrong.  Parasite~ 'pulled this off' ... that scares me a bit- but "MRM" are initials, not mine- but 'someones', (if you catch my drift) CANDLE WICK!!!!~ I'm sooooo overjoyed that you've made my poem your first reply, man!! (lol) I have a really good idea...  how about we make a book!? yes, no? "Close your eyes and begin to breathe.. |
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dinky Member
since 2002-10-19
Posts 258 |
hey , i told u someone else replied and i aint candlewick but this poem is really good ttyl and keep writin but i know that u will |
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PoetryIsLife
since 2001-10-27
Posts 1763...in my boxers... |
Ooohhh... indeed, rather powerful work here. I'm glad I read it. I enjyoed the sensual, dark and *screams* feel of the poem.... very sexy sexy read here, yet midly depressing. Well written, my friend. The meter you created soemtimes was off-kilter, but not enough to ruin the good writing.  Sincerely, Titus "My imaginary friend thinks you have serious mental problems." |
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