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anawnda
Member

since 2002-07-26

Posts 113

0 posted 2002-10-17 09:54 AM

maybe this isn't me,
jotting down stupid words,
maybe my hands suddenly came alive
on its own and wrote down
powerless, meaningless nothings.

maybe I am not here at all,
I am somewhere
hovering above these shoulders
peering at this foolish clone,
that tried to capture
it's fleeting moment of victory...

* you can hurt me...with your bare hands,or
you can hurt me using the sharp edge of what you said.....* jewel kilcher

Local Parasite

Member Elite

since 2001-11-05

Posts 2527
Transylconia, Winnipeg

1 posted 2002-10-17 12:31 PM

This is really cool, Anawnda... I like the separation of yourself from your writing, the removal of will from the way in which you wrote...

I usually don't like poems that observe that they are poems, but this is an exception to that rule. I like the questions you've posed here.

Great work. I enjoyed this quite a bit.

Parasite

Learn to place poetry before people
Before you place your poetry before the people.
~Andrey Kneller

Dopey Dope

Moderator

Member Patricius

since 2000-08-30

Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico

2 posted 2002-10-17 06:26 PM

Very cool, an out of body poetic experience.
I can't say I've thought that, but now I have thanks to you. Very thought provoking. A poem well appreciated. I would like to read more from you.

This post has been brought to you by the 'Totally Awesome Society of Puerto Rican Egotistical Sexy Men'.

quietlydying

Senior Member

since 2001-06-10

Posts 935
the wonderful land of oz

3 posted 2002-10-17 07:11 PM

is that you in the photo?

that's a very very nice photo.  man, i wish mine was that good.

::grins::

but onto the poem.  i really liked this one.  one of the best i've read today.  but i don't feel like paraphrasing brian right now, considering he has a habit of beating me to posts and whatnot.  but i thought i'd tell you that you did a really good job on this piece.

i would go on, but my head is throbbing again and no matter how much advil i take, it's just not helping.  ::sighs::

/jen/

at first i wondered why white oleander was in the six dollar bargain bin.

and then i read it.

[This message has been edited by quietlydying (10-17-2002 07:14 PM).]

vlraynes
Member Rara Avis

since 2000-07-25

Posts 8229
Somewhere... out there...

4 posted 2002-10-22 11:57 PM

anawnda~
I'm liking this VERY MUCH!
This is definately NOT "powerless, meaningless nothings."
This is an extremely powerful piece and
I could feel the emotion as I read.
Very nicely done.
~Vicky

"...until you have read the verse on his heart,
you have not truly met the poet.
~vlraynes

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