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Teen Poetry #6
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clumsy
Member
since 2002-10-10
Posts 106
canada.

0 posted 2002-10-15 07:00 PM


I don't want to hear
Your sorry, I just want you to
Be.
If being means bleeding
Then I won't hold you back
But I'll be there if you
Need to be held afterwards
((If you need to be held,
If you need to be held))
I don't know what else to say
Because you just keep saying
You're sorry. And I've already said
I don't care what you've done
I'll love you just the same
So don't be sorry.
Please, just be.
.And this is me without you.


© Copyright 2002 jessyka. - All Rights Reserved
quietlydying
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2001-06-10
Posts 935
the wonderful land of oz
1 posted 2002-10-15 07:19 PM


in all honesty, there is no harshness intended.

maybe you should reply to other people's poems just a little more, and space out your posts as well.

you'll get more replies that way.

/jen/

at first i wondered why white oleander was in the six dollar bargain bin.

and then i read it.

Local Parasite
Deputy Moderator 10 Tours
Member Elite
since 2001-11-05
Posts 2527
Transylconia, Winnipeg
2 posted 2002-10-16 12:31 PM


I'll echo what /jen/ said, you'll definitely find you get a better response if you put more into the forum.  I've seen a lot of replies from you lately so I guess you're starting to get the hang of things.

This piece seems pretty typical of your subject matter... every poem you've posted seems loosely related to each other.  I did like this poem, but maybe you should try to adapt a wider variety of styles and topics.  Just my humble opinion.

See you around.

Parasite

Learn to place poetry before people
Before you place your poetry before the people.
~Andrey Kneller

Dopey Dope
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
3 posted 2002-10-17 04:27 PM


I thought the poem was very well written. I liked it a lot. Often people say sorry but really don't mean it.....it becomes a generic saying to them. I understand this well...
I liked it a lot

This post has been brought to you by the 'Totally Awesome Society of Puerto Rican Egotistical Sexy Men'.

Skyfire
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Member Elite
since 2000-12-27
Posts 3381
Riding
4 posted 2002-10-17 07:42 PM


I dont' quite know what to make of this one, but there is definate emotion there, and that got me. Sometimes people just don't understand that someone is willing to love them the way they are. Hang in there

You are so my hero!

storyteller.of.poets
Junior Member
since 2002-10-16
Posts 11

5 posted 2002-10-17 07:58 PM


Nice poem, made me have chills. Thanx for the good read!
Riley
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Senior Member
since 2002-07-18
Posts 1038
in the pouring rain
6 posted 2002-10-17 09:41 PM


Hey, great job!!!
:-P


Ril

~* Love humiliates you, hatered cradles you-White Olender *~

Jester
Junior Member
since 2002-08-13
Posts 41
The dark corners of your mind
7 posted 2002-10-17 11:45 PM


This reminds me vaguely of my relationship with my mother.  She apologizes time and again and i just don't care about her apologies.  This poem is similar...in saying that acceptance is the root of love...and so is trust... Great read.

I am your God, will you kill me now or shall I be continually suicidal?

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