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Teen Poetry #6
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i don't cry easily.
| Teen Poetry #6 |
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i don't cry easily. |
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clumsy Member
since 2002-10-10
Posts 106canada. |
.[[i started crying. i don't want you to hurt. yes, i started crying and i don't cry. i started crying .whenireadabout20slashestothestomach. ((all i wanna do is hold you)) but it's half an houw away and all i wanna do is cry.]]. |
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| © Copyright 2002 jessyka. - All Rights Reserved | |||
Local Parasite
since 2001-11-05
Posts 2527Transylconia, Winnipeg |
This has the feeling of being rather jumbled. I much enjoyed the style of writing that you've used in this piece... the repetition and constancy of emotion is absolutely raw and striking... your use of parenthesis within brackets really sets apart the thought within the thoughts... makes the flow unusual. I really enjoyed reading this. Good work. Parasite Learn to place poetry before people |
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knightlyshadows Senior Member
since 2001-04-14
Posts 791obscured vision |
yes yes, i agree with brian, it did have the feeling of being jumbled. and i loved that. your emotions dont come all together (1,2,3) they flood you. and you portrayed that well. great write dear.  hope everything is ok too. *hug*tiff “A single choice can build destinies, or destroy them.” |
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Jenn Cirrincione
since 2000-07-02
Posts 2107Fl |
Well. I too found this a bit garbled. It seems rather unique and emotional; but I'm afraid peices of it just sailed over my head. Explanation? Jenn Why is it that we are at our most ingenius only when trying to destroy the things that keep us alive and thriving? |
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clumsy Member
since 2002-10-10
Posts 106canada. |
if you explain poetry, it ruins it. |
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quietlydying
since 2001-06-10
Posts 935the wonderful land of oz |
since when? when you explain your work, you're simply sharing what you see, how you feel with other people. you're opening their eyes to your world, and helping them explore your words even further. explaining doesn't ruin a thing. /jen/ at first i wondered why white oleander was in the six dollar bargain bin. |
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quietlydying
since 2001-06-10
Posts 935the wonderful land of oz |
and on that topic, i'm wondering of the significance of the periods at both the end and the beginning of this piece. as well as the double parenthesis and the double brackets at [once again] both the beginning and end of your poem. this really would benefit frome explination. /jen/ at first i wondered why white oleander was in the six dollar bargain bin. |
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quietlydying
since 2001-06-10
Posts 935the wonderful land of oz |
and on that topic, i'm wondering of the significance of the periods at both the end and the beginning of this piece. as well as the double parenthesis and the double brackets at [once again] both the beginning and end of your poem. this really would benefit frome explination. /jen/ at first i wondered why white oleander was in the six dollar bargain bin. |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
I thought the poem was pretty ok, cept for the jumbled piece in the middle. I didn't understand the purpose for that. Anyhow, well done.  This post has been brought to you by the 'Totally Awesome Society of Puerto Rican Egotistical Sexy Men'. |
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Child of the Stars
since 2000-09-07
Posts 1658Ann Arbor, MI |
Ew. I'm feelin' this one. You've said it all well...maybe I understand exactly how well because I've been there. Keep writing. ~Carly "My own eyes are not enough for me; I will see through a thousand and yet remain myself..." |
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