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Teen Poetry #6
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My Reality
| Teen Poetry #6 |
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My Reality |
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lil cherry Member
since 2002-10-02
Posts 86Ont, Can. 
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Sorrow Pain Laughter Joy These are my ups and downs Surrounded Cared for Alone And unhappy This is my contrast Scared Unaware Hiding Fake This is my reality October 11th/2002 |
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| © Copyright 2002 Angel - All Rights Reserved | |||
Local Parasite
since 2001-11-05
Posts 2527Transylconia, Winnipeg |
This is very unusual. Your choice of words is splendid. This couldn't be any better. Very good work. Parasite Learn to place poetry before people |
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cherish Senior Member
since 2001-03-25
Posts 1639swimming in fairy floss........... |
I agree with Brian here, nice choice of words. You've got an interesting style going on there. Enjoyed the poem  Are you scared? |
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punkrockerrobin 
since 2001-05-15
Posts 1180Sparks, NV |
CHERISH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I MISSES MY CHERRY WHERE HAS HER BEEN? hehe sorry lil cherry good poem you either like me for who i am or you don't like me at all |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
Nicely done here. I liked the choice of wording and the basic overall message. I hope to see you post more around here.  This post has been brought to you by the 'Totally Awesome Society of Puerto Rican Egotistical Sexy Men'. |
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Attila Junior Member
since 2002-10-14
Posts 17USA |
Lil Cherry~ I too liked the choice of words and the diction that they carried but I think that you should try to maybe add another section, this one with a little more exact words, the words you chose were wonderful but not original. it is like when people rhyme with sad and mad....it has been done. you are not cliche` and I really like the concept of this poem, I just think you should put a few choice words in. Consider it. Attila |
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lil cherry Member
since 2002-10-02
Posts 86Ont, Can. |
thanks for the pointer, it was a quick poem so i think it's lacking some of the depth of poems that take me a lil longer (not that i ever really spend a long time on a poem) but i thought it was worth posting none the less. |
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clumsy Member
since 2002-10-10
Posts 106canada. |
why can i NEVER put it in words? you've done what i can't do. lovely poem  one again. |
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quietlydying
since 2001-06-10
Posts 935the wonderful land of oz |
uh, cherish has been around quite a bit. if you read the posts, you'd realise that. anyways, i did enjoy this one. powerful words you used. i'm just unsure as to why you decided to capitalize every one of them. any particular reason? oh, one more thing. you only need to hit the submit button once. if you're unsure as to whether or not it posted, simply highlight and copy everything in the reply field and close the window. open up a new window and veiw the topic. if it didn't post, try again by simply pasting what you wrote before. that is if your server is a little slow tonight. /jen/ at first i wondered why white oleander was in the six dollar bargain bin. |
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Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
Your reality is a plethora of emotion, lil cherry. You see and express yourself clearly.. Your capitalization of each line is the proper way in the poetic world. There's no need for any further reasoning. It works as well in free verse as it does in structured formats. As a matter of fact, I think that it emphasizes the magnitude of your feelings in this piece. As for submitting a post more than once, our software is designed to prevent its happening. If you should happen to unintentionally hit the submit button twice, you'll receive a "Been there - Done that" error message. No need to worry... |
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boy and his spirit Junior Member
since 2002-08-26
Posts 41within my heart |
This is an incredibly well written poem. Such a proportioned subject enclosed into such a simplictily. Well done. |
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quietlydying
since 2001-06-10
Posts 935the wonderful land of oz |
thanks for clearing that up nan. i come from a very different world. heh. it's just that i had seen about three of her posts accidentally doubled, so i thought i should point it out. that's all. ::grins:: /jen/ at first i wondered why white oleander was in the six dollar bargain bin. |
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lil cherry Member
since 2002-10-02
Posts 86Ont, Can. |
thank-you very much for the compliments. my computer has been messing up a lot and i think that explains some of the double posts, i don't beleive that i actually hit the button twice although it is possible it's just that it's having problems going through. thanks tho. |
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vlraynes Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229Somewhere... out there... |
lil cherry~ emotional powerful unique well-penned This is my opinion of your poem. I really enjoyed the style you used in this write, and you did a great job of expressing the emotions. Well done. Hugs, ~Vicky "...until you have read the verse on his heart, |
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