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Teen Poetry #6
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clumsy
Member
since 2002-10-10
Posts 106
canada.

0 posted 2002-10-14 12:45 PM


And I fell asleep
With a empty space beside me
But with your words inside my head
"your body is a wonderland,
your body is a wonderland"
is what I want to say to you.
And today we're going to see
White Oleander in back corner
Row seats.

And I fell asleep
Looking up at the ceiling
Imagining nights we would spend together
And I'm not sure if
Everything is timing,
But I am comming home with an
Empty head, and a empty space beside me
And far off eyes
With my mind thinking of you.

And I fell asleep
Thinking that this seems all too familiar
And I wonder if this is all too familiar
For you too.
And I wish I knew what your were thinking
I wish I knew that everything's been said
But I am still comming home
With an empty head.

((your body is a wonderland is from a john mayer song.. note that: i did not write those lines. int he "things"

© Copyright 2002 jessyka. - All Rights Reserved
Ina
Senior Member
since 2000-10-09
Posts 1236
Quebec, Canada
1 posted 2002-10-14 05:06 PM


I really liked the poem, reminds me when I go out on a date and I get wait to get somewhere private or ditch whomever Im with.
I like the way you wrote your poem.
Hope to see more

LoveBug
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
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Member Elite
since 2000-01-08
Posts 4697

2 posted 2002-10-14 06:28 PM


This is such a good piece... I can really relate to it. I know what it's like to have someone occupy nearly every thought you have.. good job!

Most of us go to our grave with our music still inside of us.

Dopey Dope
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Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
3 posted 2002-10-14 06:56 PM


Very well done. I usually do not quote from another artist, but hey, it was in there and that's ok. Just as long as you give the author credit.
Well done on the rest of the poem though..

This post has been brought to you by the 'Totally Awesome Society of Puerto Rican Egotistical Sexy Men'.

Local Parasite
Deputy Moderator 10 Tours
Member Elite
since 2001-11-05
Posts 2527
Transylconia, Winnipeg
4 posted 2002-10-14 11:38 PM


I have to say I really enjoyed reading this.  It's got to be one of the better ones I've read from you, as it deals more literally with your feelings than the others...

Tell me how White Oleander was... I've been meaning to see it.  

Parasite

Learn to place poetry before people
Before you place your poetry before the people.
~Andrey Kneller

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