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Teen Poetry #6
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Ina
Senior Member
since 2000-10-09
Posts 1236
Quebec, Canada

0 posted 2002-10-11 10:10 PM



The sun sets upon our discord
the soft horizon fades into night
th moon grows bright
while the clouds close upon the sky
all the while our hearts mourn
shielding our souls
from gut-wrenching cries
standing in rows
there is no blessed
there is no damned
all the while there is no cynicism
all smile in rememberance
as the moon falls
the horizon comes
to play colors on us
one more time

Regina L

© Copyright 2002 Regina Levy - All Rights Reserved
Skyfire
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2000-12-27
Posts 3381
Riding
1 posted 2002-10-11 10:46 PM


Man, I've missed your work! I really have! This is great, as I remember, although it's not as dark as I remember some of your work to be. It's still awesome though
anonymousfemale
Member Elite
since 2000-02-02
Posts 2797
Limbo
2 posted 2002-10-12 12:33 PM


quote:
as the moon falls
the horizon comes
to play colors on us
one more time

Beautiful, Regi. Absolutely, beautiful. I have missed your writing so damn much so it's nice to see something from you again. Stick around, taste the champagne.

~AF~

"It is far more difficult to murder a phantom than a reality." - Virginia Woolf

knightlyshadows
Senior Member
since 2001-04-14
Posts 791
obscured vision
3 posted 2002-10-12 05:08 AM


Didnt mean to sound like AF.
Beautiful Regina.
quote:
while the clouds close upon the sky
all the while our hearts mourn
shielding our souls
from gut-wrenching cries



“A single choice can build destinies, or destroy them.”

Getting away, isn't Running away.

"The hurt that you try to hide, is killing me."


[This message has been edited by knightlyshadows (10-12-2002 05:11 AM).]

Marshalzu
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Member Elite
since 2001-02-15
Posts 2681
Lurking
4 posted 2002-10-12 09:36 AM


This is an absolutely wonderful poem, I'd love to quote you but if I did I think the we'd collectively have the whole poem in quotation. Anyway I really enjoyed the read, keep on writing and thanks for sharing

Andrew

Local Parasite
Deputy Moderator 10 Tours
Member Elite
since 2001-11-05
Posts 2527
Transylconia, Winnipeg
5 posted 2002-10-12 12:17 PM


Spectacular!  This is so well-written...

quote:
The sun sets upon our discord
the soft horizon fades into night
th moon grows bright
while the clouds close upon the sky


This is a solid opening.  Your description depicts the setting as something that is alive, in motion, and chaotic by nature... absolutely perfect.

Your ending is no disappointment, it left me in awe.  Bravo on the wonderful write.

Parasite

Learn to place poetry before people
Before you place your poetry before the people.
~Andrey Kneller

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