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Skyfire

Member Elite

since 2000-12-27

Posts 3381
Riding

0 posted 2002-10-10 11:53 PM

Eeny meeny miney moe
go out and buy yourself a ho
smoke a joint,
pop a beer
just be careful not to leave it here
I'll smoke it off
I'll drink it up
See that? That'll be my drinking cup.
Love is evil
freindship sucks
Kiss me if you have the bucks.
Take me home
when I'm drunk
Unlike some others
you acutally seem to believe in luck.
Let me cry
when I won't tell
that I want you
to go to hell.
You drive me crazy
this is true
But remember that
one and one usually makes
three.

PoetryIsLife

Senior Member

since 2001-10-27

Posts 1763
...in my boxers...

1 posted 2002-10-11 12:07 PM

I'm not sure I get the ending (one and one makes three), but this seemed like a good release for you (remember, girl?

)

You aren't on AIM or MSN... how does one say hello?

Sincerely,
Ti

"My imaginary friend thinks you have serious mental problems."

(2002 Copyright)

quietlydying

Senior Member

since 2001-06-10

Posts 935
the wonderful land of oz

2 posted 2002-10-11 01:10 AM

i think i get the ending!!

::sits smugly::

i really loved the flow in this piece.

wonderful dahling.

/jen/

i just haven't been the same since that house fell on my sister.

[the closest thing i've found to heaven is sitting here talking to you.bif naked]

Marshalzu

Member Elite

since 2001-02-15

Posts 2681
Lurking

3 posted 2002-10-11 08:10 AM

A nice release of thoughts and emotions but I got to say I don't like it as a poem, hope you are ok *huggles*

Andrew

Skyfire

Member Elite

since 2000-12-27

Posts 3381
Riding

4 posted 2002-10-11 03:12 PM

Ti... One and One... Male and female... equals three... baby... *grins*

Jen... if you were thinking that then you were obviously right

Andrew... I'm perfectly fine, and you know perfectly well that it drives me crazy when people ask if I'm okay. *grins*

I don't really remember when I wrote this, although I was perfectly sober and straight that night. I do know that much for sure. I think I was ticked off at a bunch of people.. this is kind of a rant at more than one person, so that's why it's kinda choppy. This is also the edited version. *grins* The unedited is much better.

Anyway, thanks muchly for your replies

Forever and beyond

Local Parasite

Member Elite

since 2001-11-05

Posts 2527
Transylconia, Winnipeg

5 posted 2002-10-11 08:33 PM

One and one equals three because of the ba... oh, she's already all over it... and I felt so important too.

I really, really like the flow of this, Skyfire! I can't remember enjoying one of your poems quite as much as this one. You could work on the title a bit, make it a bit more unpredictable, but then again I have no right to meddle.

The part about the drinking cup made me grin, I love how you worked that into the poem's flow. Truly great work. I'm impressed.

If you still have the unedited version, please email it to me. I'd love to see it.

Parasite

Learn to place poetry before people
Before you place your poetry before the people.
~Andrey Kneller

[This message has been edited by Local Parasite (10-11-2002 08:35 PM).]

Ina
Senior Member

since 2000-10-09

Posts 1236
Quebec, Canada

6 posted 2002-10-11 10:12 PM

I liked it! it was crazy, in a very good way. I enjoyed the beginning reminds of summer....in a good way. anyways
keep writing and i hope you are doing well
Regina

cherish
Senior Member

since 2001-03-25

Posts 1639
swimming in fairy floss...........

7 posted 2002-10-21 09:35 PM

Sorry babes, I didnt quite like this, it reminded me of something a kid in year seven would write. I mean we had those 1 + 1 = 3 things going on back then. Perhaps if you showed this to a 13 year old cousin of yours, she could spread it through her school and you'd be forever known as a legend!

Are you scared? BOO! Are you now?

Android 17

Senior Member

since 2001-07-21

Posts 664
Winnipeg

8 posted 2002-10-22 04:02 AM

Hehehe---nice! I really liked how it rhymed, and had the beat with same as "eeny meeny miny moe"

E muja oui, "Hyweyr". Pavune E lyh raym ouin byeh, E ryja du kad ujan so ufh...

Riley

Senior Member

since 2002-07-18

Posts 1038
in the pouring rain

9 posted 2002-10-22 08:13 AM

~*I'm not gonna say I'm gorgeous, that for you to decide, if you really wanna know me, see the world through my eyes*~

Dopey Dope

Moderator

Member Patricius

since 2000-08-30

Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico

10 posted 2002-10-22 03:49 PM

I liked it......I saw some evil in it (you be careful next time) but the consequences at the end are sucky i.e. the third party. I know I wouldn't want that now. I'm sure you wouldn't.

Nicely done.

This post has been brought to you by the 'Totally Awesome Society of Puerto Rican Egotistical Sexy Men'.

Jester
Junior Member

since 2002-08-13

Posts 41
The dark corners of your mind

11 posted 2002-10-22 07:18 PM

I think this poem was fantastic. I can definitely relate...I have friends I'd sometimes like to send that to. Especially the "get me drunk and take me home" part. Very nice rhythm and rhyme. Thanx for the read.
Jester

I am your God, will you kill me now or shall I be continually suicidal?

quietlydying

Senior Member

since 2001-06-10

Posts 935
the wonderful land of oz

12 posted 2002-10-22 07:41 PM

no, that will be MY drinking cup.

gotta love pink lemonade!!

:: big cheesy grin ::

/jen/

what if they gave a war, and nobody came...

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