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Marshalzu

Member Elite

since 2001-02-15

Posts 2681
Lurking

0 posted 2002-10-10 05:42 PM

Untitled

I found a pigeon today
I hung it,
I stuffed it,
and I ate it for dinner
it was quite delicious
until the bitterness inside
seeped out with the gravy

Andrew

Always and forever

quietlydying

Senior Member

since 2001-06-10

Posts 935
the wonderful land of oz

1 posted 2002-10-10 06:49 PM

hmmmmmm...

how do you eat a stuffed pigeon?

or did you stuff it with bread and spices?

very graphic.  nicely disturbing.

i'm just as sick as your poem.

i loved it zu.  i really did.

and i know punctuation isn't your style.  so ::zip::

/jen/

i just haven't been the same since that house fell on my sister.

[the closest thing i've found to heaven is sitting here talking to you.bif naked]

Skyfire

Member Elite

since 2000-12-27

Posts 3381
Riding

2 posted 2002-10-11 07:38 PM

There's something about this that attracts me to it. I'm not sure what though... I'll be back

Dopey Dope

Moderator

Member Patricius

since 2000-08-30

Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico

3 posted 2002-10-11 07:41 PM

Outwardly this poem appears to be quite nasty, but within it I found some deep meaning. I think I understand it, but I'm probably wrong. Anyway, I'd like to have my own interpretation to myself Zu, hehe.
Well done though, regardless of how its taken, nasty or not, the poem was great.

This post has been brought to you by the 'Totally Awesome Society of Puerto Rican Egotistical Sexy Men'.

Local Parasite

Member Elite

since 2001-11-05

Posts 2527
Transylconia, Winnipeg

4 posted 2002-10-12 03:55 PM

Personally, I'm going to take this poem completely literally.

COOL!

Marshalzu

Member Elite

since 2001-02-15

Posts 2681
Lurking

5 posted 2002-10-12 05:29 PM

As it's meant to be taken?

Andrew

Android 17

Senior Member

since 2001-07-21

Posts 664
Winnipeg

6 posted 2002-10-12 11:21 PM

I'm with Javier---there's ALOT of hint that this is something VERY deep. But if you want it literally, I'm with Riverwood!!!

All I do, is think about you...

PoetryIsLife

Senior Member

since 2001-10-27

Posts 1763
...in my boxers...

7 posted 2002-10-13 08:46 PM

Different, and not as good as what you normally post, honestly, but the last lines are worth it all.... superb. The reader can read much into those two lines.

Besides those lines, it seems a bit weak, missing something. Perhaps some weak lines afterward to balance the poem? Then again, the ending says it all. Hmm. The rest of the poem is the prop for thsoe two lines to exist.

Enjoyed, Andrew.

Sincerely,
Titus

"My imaginary friend thinks you have serious mental problems."

(2002 Copyright)

quietlydying

Senior Member

since 2001-06-10

Posts 935
the wonderful land of oz

8 posted 2002-10-13 08:55 PM

ahhhh... newbies.

::sighs::

/jen/

i just haven't been the same since that house fell on my sister.

[the closest thing i've found to heaven is sitting here talking to you.bif naked]

quietlydying

Senior Member

since 2001-06-10

Posts 935
the wonderful land of oz

9 posted 2002-10-13 09:49 PM

ahhh...

mr zu. i added you to the right account.

expect a gift from a mystery soon.

har har har.

/jen/

i just haven't been the same since that house fell on my sister.

[the closest thing i've found to heaven is sitting here talking to you.bif naked]

Skyfire

Member Elite

since 2000-12-27

Posts 3381
Riding

10 posted 2002-10-14 12:43 PM

I can't come up with something intelligent to say. I feel like it's right THERE staring back at me, and I just can't get ahold of it... It's marvellously sick, and I think it's great

cherish
Senior Member

since 2001-03-25

Posts 1639
swimming in fairy floss...........

11 posted 2002-10-14 12:54 PM

Hey Andikapils

I thought pigeions were the love of your life? What happened to training them to be destroyers of peace and unity? :spins:

Well, I took it differently, as in NOT literally. You cant just look at this poem and not think of it being more then *ahem* skin deep. (seriously buddy, no pun intended).

Sometimes things which you really want leave you with a bitter aftertaster once you do consume it. Sheesh...its too early in the day for this....

Keep posting you unleaver.

Are you scared? BOO! Are you now?

Marshalzu

Member Elite

since 2001-02-15

Posts 2681
Lurking

12 posted 2002-10-14 01:35 PM

I wrote this one for fun and as a bit of a jump start for my muse which seems to want a holiday *kicks the lazy thing* anyway thanks for the replies

Allysa

Senior Member

since 1999-11-09

Posts 1952
In an upside-down garden

13 posted 2002-10-15 10:38 AM

Agreeing with Parasite, and a dear freind of mine, I'd also have to go with COOL!

I used to run over dead pigeons on my bicycle when I was younger... they make a bit of a squeaking noise... it's rather humorous...

Great write Zu, I heart you.

"Wie ein Quadrat in einem Kreis, eck' ich immer wieder an obwohl ich doch schon lange weiß, daß ich niemals ändern kann." ~Wizo

clumsy
Member

since 2002-10-10

Posts 106
canada.

14 posted 2002-10-15 10:49 AM

o_O;

anonymousfemale
Member Elite

since 2000-02-02

Posts 2797
Limbo

15 posted 2002-10-15 11:48 AM

I'm not quite sure what it is this but the entire piece has filled me with an overpowering sadness. The ending has kind of zapped me even though I know it's only meant to be light. There is something else to this piece has that has got me thinking...

I hate it when you do that!

Honestly, it was enjoyed. Thanks for the read, Mr Zu.

~AF~

"No hesitation, no delay
You come on just like special K
Just like I swallowed half my stash
I never ever want to crash"
Special K - Placebo

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