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Teen Poetry #6
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Allysa
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since 1999-11-09
Posts 1952
In an upside-down garden

0 posted 2002-10-08 09:49 AM


I eat ice cream in the winter
and complain about being cold
you warm me up
as I make you watch
crappy VH1 original movies
you absent mindedly play with my hair.

Coffee and sugar cream,
my iced fruit drink and emily's monster,
walking in the dark is dangerous
without a hand to hold
you'll be swept away
I want to be swept away.

You say I can fall asleep in your arms,
you don't mind at all,
you know I'm tired and sick.
Sweet sugar and you hug me
not cold any more,
somehow you warm me up.

Walking in the dark is dangerous
without a hand to hold.
stumbling in the dark is dangerous
without someone to lead you
you'll be swept away
I want to be swept away....


"You're the center of adrenaline And I'm beginning to understand You could be the best thing about me." -SG

[This message has been edited by Allysa (10-08-2002 09:52 AM).]

© Copyright 2002 Allysa - All Rights Reserved
Local Parasite
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Member Elite
since 2001-11-05
Posts 2527
Transylconia, Winnipeg
1 posted 2002-10-09 03:21 PM


Your poetry always makes me want candy.  I swear I'm going to gain weight being such a fan of your work...

I like your original sentence structure, how you add words to sentences for elemental purposes and not necessarily because they carry a specific meaning.  Reminds me of Joyce's writing, in a way.  Are you a fan of Joyce, by any chance?  

quote:
Sweet sugar and you hug me


That's exactly the kind of thing I'm talking about.  Really, really creative.

Very nicely done, Allysa.  It's great to see that you're back where you belong.  

See you around,
Parasite

Marshalzu
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since 2001-02-15
Posts 2681
Lurking
2 posted 2002-10-10 09:01 AM


This is such a great read, it's very personal and very cute thanks for sharing a great read

Andrew

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