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Teen Poetry #6
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LCBS
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since 2001-11-29
Posts 532
Connecticut

0 posted 2002-10-05 05:26 PM


I never thanked you,
for letting me be your apprentice.
How else could I make my masks so well?
You taught me how to paint indifference...
Blank eyes, and straight lips,
I actually felt my blood run cold.
As I kept my voice desperately steady
and all the while, my soul withered

I never thanked you,
for letting me be your apprentice.
Even the greatest of actors couldn’t rival you.
You taught me how to flaunt composure,
calm, collected, and self-possessed.
Untouchable, unbreakable
and in every sense of the word, happy.
And all the while, my soul withered

I never thanked you,
For letting me be your apprentice.

You were a true artist.

[This message has been edited by LCBS (10-05-2002 09:37 PM).]

© Copyright 2002 Lisa Bednarz - All Rights Reserved
Kevin
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Posts 729
Torrington, Ct, Usa
1 posted 2002-10-05 07:35 PM



Local Parasite
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2 posted 2002-10-06 02:25 AM


Were?  Try are.  If this is about Kevin (judging from his response), then two things -- First, he's still a true artist.

Secondly, awwwwwwwwwwww!

Seriously though...

I'm liking what you're putting forth in this poem, Lisa.  I would be honoured if someone were to write such a thing for me.  It's very nice to see you putting your talent to such applications as expressing gratefulness.

Even if this is probably written in apostrophe, you wrote it with feeling.  Truly excellent work.

Parasite

Learn to place poetry before people
Before you place your poetry before the people.
~Andrey Kneller

Kevin
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3 posted 2002-10-10 03:47 PM


Hmm, I saw this as very negative actually
i was just smiling cause it was such a great poem

the artist to me in this is someone hiding thier pain

Child of the Stars
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Posts 1658
Ann Arbor, MI
4 posted 2002-10-10 04:38 PM


Very very negative. Love your crique message... and I love this poem..very biting. makes the skin go 'ow.' Keep it up, Lisa.

  ~Carly

Local Parasite
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5 posted 2002-10-10 05:40 PM




Uhh... I just read this again... what the hell planet was I on when I wrote that reply?  I must have been completely braindead...

Geez... okay, I admit I must have completely missed pretty much every bit of sarcasm that was set forth in this poem.  It's really embarassing but hey... it happens...

But still... all of that which is shown as having  been "taught" in this poem, I know how to do rather well... so I'd be honoured if someone were to write a poem thanking me for it.

Is it ever really a bad thing to be a teacher?  Hm?  Well?  


Learn to place poetry before people
Before you place your poetry before the people.
~Andrey Kneller

[This message has been edited by Local Parasite (10-10-2002 05:55 PM).]

LCBS
Senior Member
since 2001-11-29
Posts 532
Connecticut
6 posted 2002-10-10 08:33 PM


I was so confused after LP replied, I thought maybe kev thought that I wrote this about him and then I was appalled! Im glad its all cleared up now


~Lis

Local Parasite
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Transylconia, Winnipeg
7 posted 2002-10-10 10:28 PM


It's all cleared up.  I'm really sorry and so disappointed in myself for being such an airhead...

I'll make it up to you somehow, okay Lisa?

Skyfire
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8 posted 2002-10-10 11:57 PM


Lisa... interesting... I like, I like. Thank you for the read. You improve every time I read your work.

Forever and beyond

Marshalzu
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Lurking
9 posted 2002-10-11 07:57 AM


Ooh great write, I really enjoyed reading it, keep on writing and thanks for sharing

Andrew

cherish
Senior Member
since 2001-03-25
Posts 1639
swimming in fairy floss...........
10 posted 2002-10-21 08:23 PM


BRILLIANT LISA! You always make me think "Why wouldnt *I* have written something like that?" whenever I read something of yours. This is a great write, the imagery and anaolgy were great. Whoever you're refering to needs to learn to connect with the world a little bit more. You know what hiding behind a mask is doing to you- imagine what it's like for them. *sighs* we all have our little ways of going about the world eh, Leese?

Thanks for sharing


Are you scared?                BOO! Are you now?

Dopey Dope
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San Juan, Puerto Rico
11 posted 2002-10-22 03:39 PM


Wow this was great. I know how this feels completely. This took my breath away. What an amazing poem.
I hope to see more.

This post has been brought to you by the 'Totally Awesome Society of Puerto Rican Egotistical Sexy Men'.

vlraynes
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229
Somewhere... out there...
12 posted 2002-10-25 02:41 AM



Lisa~
You are writing some amazing poetry these days.
This is very well-written and includes some incredible imagery.
Keep up the awesome writing, my friend.
Hugs,
~Vicky

"...until you have read the verse on his heart,
you have not truly met the poet.
~vlraynes

[This message has been edited by vlraynes (10-25-2002 02:42 AM).]

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