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Teen Poetry #6
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HopelessRomanticGuy
Member
since 2001-08-17
Posts 495
LI, New York

0 posted 2002-10-03 08:44 PM


A young man sits alone
Listening to the cries and tales of friends
He sits alone in his home
Comforting and bringing their troubles to end

He is there while their tears flow
Helping them to stand strong
Yet deep inside he grows cold
Never finding what he's sought for so long

A love to hold him tight
Someone who will be there
To hold him close at night
When the pain is too much to bare

He is reaching out in the dark
Desperatly looking for someone who cares
His soul is searching through the dark
but in his life there's NO ONE THERE.

After Love comes Pain, then Love, Then Pain, then Love, then Pain..... does anyone else see a pattern here?  Oh well, can't say it's not worth it.

© Copyright 2002 Richard H. Dikeman - All Rights Reserved
Local Parasite
Deputy Moderator 10 Tours
Member Elite
since 2001-11-05
Posts 2527
Transylconia, Winnipeg
1 posted 2002-10-03 08:48 PM


I know how this is... I used to be in a situation of trust with many of my friends, where they'd come to me with their troubles in search of some form of guidance.  To be honest, it even happens a little bit nowadays... although I've lost most of the connections with those people.

It kind of sucks to be everyone's shoulder when you don't have a shoulder for yourself, doesn't it?  It can be difficult, but I hope your poetry is at least offering you some form of solace in this situation.

Perhaps you should try meeting them at their own level, next time you offer guidance... instead of just sympathizing, try relating to them... talking about your similar experiences.  You can be supportive and show that you, yourself, also need support at the same time, can't you?

I like the poem, but I think it's mostly content... which is why I commented primarily on the content of this piece.

Oh, and your critique message looks curiously like mine... hmm  

Parasite


Learn to place poetry before people
Before you place your poetry before the people.
~Andrey Kneller

[This message has been edited by Local Parasite (10-03-2002 08:49 PM).]

Jenn Cirrincione
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2000-07-02
Posts 2107
Fl
2 posted 2002-10-03 09:55 PM


Hmmm...not too shabby, really.
I understand this well, and although cliche at best, all I can say is "your day will come".
Keep it up.

Jenn

Why is it that we are at our most ingenius only when trying to destroy the things that keep us alive and thriving?

WinterWren
Senior Member
since 2002-12-01
Posts 1044
...Coming to
3 posted 2002-12-04 06:57 PM


;'( That's so sad. Im at a loss for words. But I can really relate to that poem, It was very very good. In fact it was great. You are a very good writer.

WinterWren
"I want you to believe in life. Will you find out who you are too late, to change? -Dishwalla-

Smoothy
Member
since 2002-12-02
Posts 119
The dark side of the moon
4 posted 2002-12-04 08:25 PM


Yeah, one thing about helping other people with their problems is you rarely have time to deal with your own. Sorry man.
moonguardian2004
Member
since 2002-12-01
Posts 64
MA, USA
5 posted 2002-12-04 08:37 PM


that was a very good poem. its hard to keep strong for a friend when you yourself need someone for you. it sounds like you are a great friend. if you ever need to talk let me know!

Meredith

palmerj
Junior Member
since 2002-11-06
Posts 30
Coxsackie, NY
6 posted 2002-12-04 08:55 PM


This poem is too true.  Very nice write!
devinechild22
Senior Member
since 2002-08-28
Posts 571

7 posted 2002-12-05 05:11 PM


OMG! I am actually goin through this right now!I would tell he story but...I doubt if anyone wants to hear..LOL Great poem. I loved the ideas you expressed and just....everything! LOL I`m such a weirdo. But o well.
         *Allison*

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