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Teen Poetry #6
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StellarChica
Member
since 2002-07-06
Posts 207
floating down a river...

0 posted 2002-10-02 10:31 PM



You're as cool as ice,
That's been melting under the sun for hours,
That's okay,
I like my drinks warm.
Falling for you?
I think not.
See, when I drove up your mountain,
I tied myself to the car,
And this rope's the only thing,
That's keeping me from falling over the edge.
Oh, are those your scissors?
That must be why I feel like I'm sliding off this cliff.
I'm as hot as an mid-afternoon,
In the middle of February,
That's okay,
You never liked the summer.

"You write the lie you want to be when your life looks like a book you wouldn't read."-Jets To Brazil

© Copyright 2002 Erin Reynolds - All Rights Reserved
SEA
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676
with you
1 posted 2002-10-02 11:21 PM


ooo, I do like this, you did good
Local Parasite
Deputy Moderator 10 Tours
Member Elite
since 2001-11-05
Posts 2527
Transylconia, Winnipeg
2 posted 2002-10-02 11:38 PM


I like the ending.  I'd echo SEA, but since "good" is an adjective, not an adverb... I'll just say you did well.  

I sure am a jerk.

Parasite

Learn to place poetry before people
Before you place your poetry before the people.
~Andrey Kneller

SEA
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676
with you
3 posted 2002-10-02 11:47 PM


LP~ rofl.....hush you face
Jester
Junior Member
since 2002-08-13
Posts 41
The dark corners of your mind
4 posted 2002-10-04 12:00 PM


This was very nicely done.  I liked how it made you seem very warm and caring while making the other person seem cold and ruthless.  Very nice.

I am your God, will you kill me now or shall I be continually suicidal?

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