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Hallucination
Member

since 2001-03-18

Posts 419

0 posted 2002-09-30 08:17 PM

"When You Can't"
(10/01/02)
© 2002 Brian Eggertsen, All Rights Reserved

Verse 1
Scared and ashamed, cold and alone,
You bary yourself in pain,
Looked everywhere, but all you found,
Was an empty picture frame...

Verse 2
Each time you breathe, you feel haunted,
By the ghost of misery,
Nothing you do, will make it right,
But still you search for release...

Chorus
All you need's a carring heart,
All you want's some loving arms.
To keep you strong, to keep you warm,
When you can't...
Begging for a love that shows,
Praying for a smile again.
To keep your faith, until the end,
When you can't....

Verse 3
I'm your safe walls, and comfort chair,
When your burdens grow too big,
Open your eyes, repair heartstrings,
Whenever time moves too quick...

Chorus
All you need's a carring heart,
All you want's some loving arms.
To keep you strong, to keep you warm,
When you can't...
Begging for a love that shows,
Praying for a smile again.
To keep your faith, until the end,
When you can't....

Local Parasite

Member Elite

since 2001-11-05

Posts 2527
Transylconia, Winnipeg

1 posted 2002-09-30 11:13 PM

I think this is one of your better works. You dodged the cliches very easily in this piece, and for the most part, it rings true with creativity.

Good writing here.

Parasite

Learn to place poetry before people
Before you place your poetry before the people.
~Andrey Kneller

gymnast
Member

since 2001-11-18

Posts 80
Scotland.

2 posted 2002-10-17 05:32 PM

I love this song/poem. Another brilliant piece of work. I know exactly what it feels like to feel what you describe in your song/poem. Very well written. So well written that I'm gonna add it to my library to keep forever!
||amanda||

gymnast
Member

since 2001-11-18

Posts 80
Scotland.

3 posted 2002-10-17 05:40 PM

I love this song/poem. Another brilliant piece of work. I know exactly what it feels like to feel what you describe in your song/poem. Very well written. So well written that I'm gonna add it to my library to keep forever!
||amanda||

Dopey Dope

Moderator

Member Patricius

since 2000-08-30

Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico

4 posted 2002-10-17 07:12 PM

I like the idea of repairing heart strings. I thought it was a very cool imaged.
I liked the song man.

This post has been brought to you by the 'Totally Awesome Society of Puerto Rican Egotistical Sexy Men'.

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