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navwin » Archives » Teen Poetry #6 » America in the Eyes of a Teen (me in paticular)
Teen Poetry #6
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Chloey
Member
since 2002-09-29
Posts 74
in a silver mustang convertible
0 posted 2002-09-29 02:55 PM


One beautiful morning
September Eleven
Towers crashed down
And souls flew up to heaven

America broke into screams
It was a terrorist attack
We fought together
To get our lives back

Now we are here
It is one year past
America fought as one
To make it's unity last

East to the Ocean
West to the Sand
Death to the Biz-atch
That touches my man
© Copyright 2002 Chloey Jane - All Rights Reserved
Riley
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2002-07-18
Posts 1038
in the pouring rain
1 posted 2002-09-29 03:02 PM

Hey!!!! Hehe, I had to be the first to reply to your first post.....ok, this is really cool ( as I have told you ), and the rhyming sounds pretty good and not to forced. Probably one of the really good rhyming poems I have read in a while.......but as you know, I don't rhyme to much anymore. You should definatly try some different things to, but as far as this goes its good. Check around and reply to some peeps poems!!!!

Ri

~*Theres a sparkle in your eye that only i see, and theres a place in your heart where only i wanna be*~
SEA
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676
with you
2 posted 2002-09-29 03:50 PM

Welcome! Fantastic first post! Please check your email for a special greeting!
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
3 posted 2002-09-30 07:05 AM


Welcome to Passions, Chloey!
Local Parasite
Deputy Moderator 10 Tours
Member Elite
since 2001-11-05
Posts 2527
Transylconia, Winnipeg
4 posted 2002-09-30 03:59 PM

A good poem.  I have some unpleasant views on the topic that I won't discuss, but I do think that you wrote it rather well.

You a friend of Riley's?  That's cool, she's one of my favourites.     Hope to be seeing more from you.

Parasite

Learn to place poetry before people
Before you place your poetry before the people.
~Andrey Kneller
Dopey Dope
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
5 posted 2002-10-11 01:38 PM

You wrote a poem on such a sensitive topic, but you did it very well. I enjoyed it muchly.

This message has been brought to you by the letter 'Y'
Skyfire
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2000-12-27
Posts 3381
Riding
6 posted 2002-10-11 07:47 PM


Ina
Senior Member
since 2000-10-09
Posts 1236
Quebec, Canada
7 posted 2002-10-11 10:30 PM

welcome! I hope you have fun posting here.
The poem was very well written.

regina
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