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Riley

Senior Member

since 2002-07-18

Posts 1038
in the pouring rain

0 posted 2002-09-26 07:56 PM

softly walking along the ground
feet never touched it though a thousand times
shiny and glossed an ornament lay
my face in its beautiful orb

unrentlessly i throw it away
into the oblivian of colorful life
it reflected my features that i don't want to see
right now the world is simple
but soon it will change
very soon

two hearts will come together
two lives will become one
two hands shall slip together
two genders shall become one

i know you may think me crazy
yet i shall prevail from your thoughts
count me out of your crazy transitions
for all i can tell is that you love me
i will tell the world

yet once again i pick up the orb
and look once gain
and this time two faces shone back
yours and mine
together

~*Theres a sparkle in your eye that only i see, and theres a place in your heart where only i wanna be*~

skyshine

Member Elite

since 2002-02-07

Posts 3058
Beneath the northern stars

1 posted 2002-09-26 10:26 PM

I liked the description in this, Riley. Very well done!

--Beth

Howl at the stars, whisper when you're sleeping, I'll be there to hold you, I'll be there to stop the chills and all the weeping.

Local Parasite

Member Elite

since 2001-11-05

Posts 2527
Transylconia, Winnipeg

2 posted 2002-09-30 01:58 AM

This is beautifully descriptive. I like how instead of blatantly stating the concept of love, you explore and discuss what it entails. Oh, and I also really like the word "unrelentlessly."

Truly another wonderful piece of writing from the pen of Miss Riley.

You've made a definite impression on me.

Parasite

Learn to place poetry before people
Before you place your poetry before the people.
~Andrey Kneller

[This message has been edited by Local Parasite (09-30-2002 01:59 AM).]

Riley

Senior Member

since 2002-07-18

Posts 1038
in the pouring rain

3 posted 2002-09-30 07:57 AM

Miss Riley, ahh....I like the sound of that. I am glad to have made an impression on someone, as was my goal...........I shall try for more though. Thanks a lot Parasite...

Missy Ri

~*Theres a sparkle in your eye that only i see, and theres a place in your heart where only i wanna be*~

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