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Teen Poetry #6
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pharon
Member
since 1999-11-13
Posts 251
alabama

0 posted 2002-09-26 06:50 PM



torn open
  exposed from the
         inside out
stolen f r a g ment s
of my being
      never shown
    now freely worn
      on your sleeve

   stripped down
to nothing
     tearing new
        holes in my
swiss demeanor
    left with nothing
      but crumbs
  to be swept away



(092502)

**my best friend read my journal the other day...it made me so angry (as my roommate said..i was 'mentally raped')  but i couldn't stay mad at him - what's the point in holding grudges, right?  i guess it was good b/c i haven't written a poem in about 5 months and before i went to bed that night this one popped in my head.  

[This message has been edited by pharon (09-26-2002 06:52 PM).]

© Copyright 2002 maria g robinson - All Rights Reserved
pharon
Member
since 1999-11-13
Posts 251
alabama
1 posted 2002-09-30 12:55 PM


wow...was the poem that bad?  

vlraynes
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229
Somewhere... out there...
2 posted 2002-09-30 01:19 AM



pharon-
I'm not sure why this seems to have been overlooked,
but I can tell you that I REALLY like it!
Love the imagery in this piece.
Great write!
~Vicky

"...until you have read the verse on his heart,
you have not truly met the poet.
~vlraynes

Masked Intruder
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 Tours
Moderator
Senior Member
since 1999-05-23
Posts 1231
Near golden sunsets
3 posted 2002-09-30 01:20 AM


*grins*  no no no

Definitely not bad...Sundays are just slow.

I can certainly understand the 'emotionally raped' feeling, and I completely understand not being able to stay angry at a friend.  

You did a great job with the format, I like to see something that isn't left justified once in a while.  *Grins*  Metaphors and images were great, too.

You can't wake a person who is pretending to be asleep. -- Navajo Proverb

pharon
Member
since 1999-11-13
Posts 251
alabama
4 posted 2002-09-30 09:59 PM


thanx for the replies...i just haven't been on in a while and it was weird not to have responses...thanx though..hopefully i'll be posting some more...more often

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