»
Archives
»
Teen Poetry #6
»
Unwanted
| Teen Poetry #6 |
|
Unwanted |
|
Android 17
since 2001-07-21
Posts 664Winnipeg |
Unwanted Wake up... Tear soaked... Day stands still... Flesh, fused---churning itself... Many have cried, for lives... In which, have yet to make themselves born... Mothers, fathers---crying only of hate... With midnight scorn... Unwanted... Hated... Feared... Flesh, fused---churning itself... -------------- I didn't put much thought into this... Here I am, I am your child...lying safe and warm. In your womb...for I am, the unwated life...... |
||
| © Copyright 2002 Alex-lee Hryhorczuk - All Rights Reserved | |||
|
AngelShell Member
since 2000-03-01
Posts 446not heaven nor hell so... |
Sometimes the best poetry is something you write when you're not even thinking about it. This one really comes close. There is a flow in this one that gives the poem a really nice feel and the imagery is fantastic. It really stirred something. Well done. Michelle. ~I haven't memorized all of the cute things to say but I'm working on it~ |
||
Riley
since 2002-07-18
Posts 1038in the pouring rain |
Hey!!!!!!!!!!, I haven't seen ya post in a while. Hows life? Send me an e-mail otay? Haven't gotten anything from ya lately. Anyhow back to the poem, this was really good. Sad, but good. It gave me chills when I read it. * smiles *  . Yea, well write me soon ok, miss talkin to you. Riley ~*Theres a sparkle in your eye that only i see, and theres a place in your heart where only i wanna be*~ |
||
|
Android 17
since 2001-07-21
Posts 664Winnipeg |
*smirks* This is better feedbakc than I expected. Heh... Here I am, I am your child...lying safe and warm. In your womb...for I am, the unwated life...... |
||
Local Parasite
since 2001-11-05
Posts 2527Transylconia, Winnipeg |
Well the good response ends here.  This is alright, Alex. I think if you worked on it and expanded upon each line individually, you would have more to work with. Oh, and the ellipis is really droning and gets kind of repetitive very quickly. Thank you for playing, please try again.  Parasite (being a jerk about it) Learn to place poetry before people |
||
|
babygurl * Junior Member
since 2001-12-07
Posts 30 |
nice poem alex, short... sweet... to the point.. anyways ill try and get more posts up on here... bye hun! |
||
|
Android 17
since 2001-07-21
Posts 664Winnipeg |
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAA!!! Oh jeez---Parasite, don't hurt my feelings! Please! I can't take it!!! THA-HAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!! I told you...I didn't put much thought into this! So...unless your mind isn't advanced quite like the rest of ours is---that should mean that the only reason I'm saying that, is because I'm expecting bad responces! :P Naw, no skin off my back, man! You know that! And thanks for checkin' my new poem, Jack-o! Here I am, I am your child...lying safe and warm. In your womb...for I am, the unwated life...... |
||
|
cherish Senior Member
since 2001-03-25
Posts 1639swimming in fairy floss........... |
*hugs* Don't go all Seph on me, but I agree with Bri. You should post something up in prose!! You kick arse in that!!  Are you scared? BOO! Are you now? |
||
|
LadyDracaWolf Member
since 2002-09-19
Posts 73CA |
I don't really know what to say in reply to this except that maybe some people feel unappreciated, but not quite unwanted, for how can someone be unwanted? Death is not extinguishing the light; |
||
|
Android 17
since 2001-07-21
Posts 664Winnipeg |
People are unwanted all the time---and they're dealt with...just think of aborted children... Here I am, I am your child...lying safe and warm. In your womb...for I am, the unwated life...... |
||
|
Local Parasite
since 2001-11-05
Posts 2527Transylconia, Winnipeg |
Abortions aren't too useful after birth, Alex. |
||
|
rimmie Junior Member
since 2002-08-09
Posts 45Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada |
WOW...this poem touches upon a lot of moments im my life and i think that its very powerfull whether u put thought into it or not |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
