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Riley

Senior Member

since 2002-07-18

Posts 1038
in the pouring rain

0 posted 2002-09-21 02:05 PM

forgotten emotions revealed by fate
as only you can ever say
in words that express through colored text

tell me please who you really are
under the mask that holds your image
it is not important of looks
but the lasting want that holds two and one

so unmask thy evil being that sighs
at the sight of a sweet song
and know that the truth shall be revealed
right shall be undone and wrong shall preval
from wist thou hast captured it

understand the fog written words
on the celing of my finest hour
and count the underdisturbed minutes
as they slowly yet wickedly tick by

now tell me the long begotten truth
or do i have to yank it out
from between the lips which appear so soft
yet secretly the miscalculated

smile

~*Theres a sparkle in your eye that only i see, and theres a place in your heart where only i wanna be*~

[This message has been edited by Riley (09-21-2002 02:06 PM).]

devinechild22
Senior Member

since 2002-08-28

Posts 571

1 posted 2002-09-21 02:49 PM

this is a really kewl poem. i liked the whole rhythm and the meaning behind it. it is a really good poem.

Match
Member

since 2002-07-01

Posts 286
Canada Edmonton

2 posted 2002-09-22 12:01 PM

I loved this

!!!

~*Azi*~

Local Parasite

Member Elite

since 2001-11-05

Posts 2527
Transylconia, Winnipeg

3 posted 2002-09-22 12:26 PM

Wow, this poem is incredible!  Your form, technique, and skill with words are truly something to be proud of.  I'm very, very impressed with this piece.

Some thoughts that really grabbed my attention were "ceiling of my finest hour," "miscalculated smile," and especially "slowly yet wickedly tick by."

This poem creates such a definite atmosphere... I can't touch this quality.

Sheer brilliance, Riley.

Parasite

Learn to place poetry before people
Before you place your poetry before the people.
~Andrey Kneller

Riley

Senior Member

since 2002-07-18

Posts 1038
in the pouring rain

4 posted 2002-09-22 01:14 PM

Parasite: I was blown away by what you said, I didn't expect that for this piece, but I will have to say one of my good ones. Thank you so much for your kind replies and praise.

Riley

~*Theres a sparkle in your eye that only i see, and theres a place in your heart where only i wanna be*~

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