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His Scent
| Teen Poetry #6 |
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His Scent |
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DewDropRoses Junior Member
since 2002-09-18
Posts 20WV |
His Scent Making her way to her room In her mind knowing tonight's not the night Dreams won't come to tear stained cheeks There are too many things wrong she wants to make right. Crying into her pillow Body shivering from the pain Clutching to his once scented shirt The only realness of him that remains. For every shiver her grasp tightens Wanting him to be right there But he left her to drown in silence To ponder if he still cared. Closed off even more each day The only thing holding her here is his scent And the unknown answer to her question What does his silence represent? Copyright © 2001 Amy Marie Hess |
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| © Copyright 2002 Amy Marie Hess - All Rights Reserved | |||
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AngelShell Member
since 2000-03-01
Posts 446not heaven nor hell so... |
There was a definate sense of honesty here. If it's written from experience then my heart goes out to you, I'm sure a lot of people have been in this predicament and I'm sure a lot of people wish they could explain it with such sophistication and grace; and if it's written from the imagination then I commend you for the vivid feelings created. This is an excellent read. ~I haven't memorized all of the cute things to say but I'm working on it~ |
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Local Parasite
since 2001-11-05
Posts 2527Transylconia, Winnipeg |
This is a pretty good poem. I think you did a reasonably good job with the rhyme scheme, for the most part. The only thing that disappointed me... you never described the scent? That kind of left me in the dark. Just an aside... good poem nonetheless. Parasite Learn to place poetry before people |
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