navwin » Archives » Teen Poetry #6 » Lost Faith
Teen Poetry #6
Post A Reply Post New Topic Lost Faith Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
knightlyshadows
Senior Member
since 2001-04-14
Posts 791
obscured vision

0 posted 2002-09-19 12:00 PM



Salted drops mingle
they congeal within my blood.
Preserved by my own essence;
skeletons deep in my closet.

Wished to be cleaned
let down by more than you.
Prayed for by my own blood;
pieces lost in my confusion.

Damned by self-affliction
I gave up the pretense of faith.
Believed in something I didn't know;
cautious of the beginning I seek.

Deceived in my doubt
slip into phase of shadows
Bothered by scabs I bleed;
warrants disbelieve until I let go.

“A single choice can build destinies, or destroy them.”

Getting away, isn't Running away.

"The hurt that you try to hide, is killing me."

© Copyright 2002 Tiffany Durham - All Rights Reserved
cherish
Senior Member
since 2001-03-25
Posts 1639
swimming in fairy floss...........
1 posted 2002-09-19 03:40 AM


"Damned by self-affliction
I gave up the pretense of faith."

Just like all good red wines, your poetry's matured Tiffers. Whether it be faith in a person or faith in a *shock**horror* god that you've lost, you'll restore your natual balance soon. Good write.

Are you scared? BOO! Are you now?

Local Parasite
Deputy Moderator 10 Tours
Member Elite
since 2001-11-05
Posts 2527
Transylconia, Winnipeg
2 posted 2002-09-19 01:02 PM


Tiff -

I've said it before and I'll say it again - you get much better every time I read your work.  I see you're starting to develop more definite themes in your writing, and are becoming more clear on what they are.  

Another thing I see, which is prominent in this piece especially, is the level of skill with which your techniques are executed.  You can do so without shrouding or choking out your message, which was often the case in other works I've seen of yours.

You're maturing very nicely as a writer, Tiffany.  

As for faith... sometimes it's important to ask yourself the question, what is truly important to you?  Beneath it all, what has faith given you?  On the other hand, what has enlightenment given you?

You'll have to measure them up against one another in order to see what your true path is.

Parasite


Learn to place poetry before people
Before you place your poetry before the people.
~Andrey Kneller

[This message has been edited by Local Parasite (09-20-2002 10:01 AM).]

AngelShell
Member
since 2000-03-01
Posts 446
not heaven nor hell so...
3 posted 2002-09-21 09:36 PM


This is a very good write.
I found the emotional imagery was written with wonderful sophistication.
Well done, really.

Michelle.

~I haven't memorized all of the cute things to say but I'm working on it~

LadyDracaWolf
Member
since 2002-09-19
Posts 73
CA
4 posted 2002-09-21 11:10 PM


Striking an emotional chord with me. I really don't know what to say besides that.

Perhaps we all lose faith sometimes.

Death is not extinguishing the light;
it is putting out the lamp
because the dawn has come.

Rabindranath Tagore
Poet, Philosopher, Nobel Laurea

Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Teen Poetry #6 » Lost Faith

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary