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Teen Poetry #6
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devinechild22
Senior Member
since 2002-08-28
Posts 571


0 posted 2002-09-15 01:27 PM



why do you pretend
that you comprehend
my situation
you tell me how you feel
then go off with someone else
i wish you could understand
take a walk in my shoes
here we`ll switch places
i`ll walk all over you
why do you fee the need to ignore me
why don`t you switch places with me
i`ll walk all over you

© Copyright 2002 Allison Colgrove - All Rights Reserved
Match
Member
since 2002-07-01
Posts 286
Canada Edmonton
1 posted 2002-09-15 01:29 PM


Hmmmmmmmmmmmm I liked it Its made me in a nice little thinking mood

~*Azi*~

Local Parasite
Deputy Moderator 10 Tours
Member Elite
since 2001-11-05
Posts 2527
Transylconia, Winnipeg
2 posted 2002-09-16 12:43 PM


I would call this poem Juxtaproposal... hehe...   But I'm a weirdo, so...

Nice poem though!  Short and bitter, just the way all good vent poetry needs be.  

Parasite

Learn to place poetry before people
Before you place your poetry before the people.
~Andrey Kneller

Kielo
Senior Member
since 2002-02-11
Posts 1109

3 posted 2002-09-16 02:27 PM


Very well done! I like how you repeated the last line. It actually reminded me of that song... but that's irrelevant. Great poem!

Kielo

PoeticGoddessOfDepression
Member
since 2002-07-02
Posts 439
I am everywhere
4 posted 2002-09-28 02:19 PM


Hey there Jimmy, I mean Allison.

What's up?
It's Sept 28, and I don't know when you posted this one, but I just found it. heh, sorry.
Better late than never, right?

"take a walk in my shoes
here we`ll switch places
i`ll walk all over you"
I like those lines. mah haha!

Right... there's this one song that I really like by White Stripes (if you like them at all)
It's called Dead Leaves and the Dirty Ground. I like it..
Yea......um......

Oh duh!!! Is houdl talk about how cool your poem was..

Yea, man, ur poem was really cool.  As Parasite said, "Short and Bitter".

Very impressive, little jimmy.
GOD DARN ME!!!
I mean Allison.
But now about me... .
lol, j/j.
Ttys,

~Sara





Along the way to scarring your ego,
you've straight up ruined me.

[This message has been edited by PoeticGoddessOfDepression (09-28-2002 02:21 PM).]

quietlydying
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2001-06-10
Posts 935
the wonderful land of oz
5 posted 2002-10-13 02:11 AM


dances with thespians!!

har har har.

oh god i'm way too much of a nerd.

::shakes her head::

/jen/

i just haven't been the same since that house fell on my sister.

[the closest thing i've found to heaven is sitting here talking to you.bif naked]

Skyfire
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2000-12-27
Posts 3381
Riding
6 posted 2002-10-13 04:03 PM


"i`ll walk all over you" Yes! I love it! Way to stand up for yourself! *dances*
Dopey Dope
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
7 posted 2002-10-13 06:58 PM


I'd call it "The Bitter Shoe"

I don't know. I felt a lot of bitterness in this poem, and since you're talking about walking over that person out of vengeance....a sort of pay back, yeah...that's why.

Anyhow, I liked the poem a lot.

This post has been brought to you by the 'Totally Awesome Society of Puerto Rican Egotistical Sexy Men'.

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