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Teen Poetry #6
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sean_krazy
Junior Member
since 2002-09-14
Posts 33


0 posted 2002-09-14 03:57 PM


I’m your little cattle Ma

I said once ‘I hate you’,
But now you flew away,
I am terribly alone.
I wish I could cry on my knees,
So I could be in your grace again.
I’m your little cattle ma,
But where’s my shepherd?

All the times you yelled ‘please’,
You never got the better part of me.
You clung on to your dreams
And never flew away with it.
I nudged you to wake up,
But you wouldn’t.
You carried me for months,
nurtured me for years, now
you lye inside of me.

I know I can’t fly,
But I’m more than any bird.
I am not naïve,
For I realize I am wrong.
Mama, don’t you cry,
I have dreams like you,
And I am awake.
But I will disclose to no one
Till these clouds sweep me off my knees
So that one day I could meet you
And say ‘I’m your little cattle ma,
I love you’

Sean


© Copyright 2002 sean_krazy - All Rights Reserved
Dark Enchantress
Senior Member
since 1999-07-27
Posts 1258
meet Morgana
1 posted 2002-09-14 10:37 PM


The poem as a whole was wonderful, but the second stanza was my particular favourite. I love the emotion and reality of this. Or at least it felt very real to me and not only that but also expressed in an interesting way. I hope to see more from you.

Welcome to Passions.



"you don't need one of these to let me inside of you" T.A.

[This message has been edited by Dark Enchantress (09-14-2002 10:38 PM).]

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
2 posted 2002-09-15 07:01 AM



Sean, a very good first post!  Welcome to Passions, and I, too, shall look forward to seeing more of your writings!

Karilea
If I whisper, will you listen?...
I would rather be silent and write, than speak loudly and be bound

Local Parasite
Deputy Moderator 10 Tours
Member Elite
since 2001-11-05
Posts 2527
Transylconia, Winnipeg
3 posted 2002-09-16 12:32 PM


This is simply beautiful.  I absolutely love the style of writing you adapt here, a kind of narrative addressing of your mother... and the descriptions of yourself...

Especially the ending, that was fantastic.  I can't wait to read more from you.

Welcome to Passions.

Parasite

Learn to place poetry before people
Before you place your poetry before the people.
~Andrey Kneller

Kielo
Senior Member
since 2002-02-11
Posts 1109

4 posted 2002-09-16 02:10 PM


This was amazing. Very beautiful. I loved it, and hope to see more from you! Welcome to Passions!

Kielo

cherish
Senior Member
since 2001-03-25
Posts 1639
swimming in fairy floss...........
5 posted 2002-10-20 09:37 PM


Nice

WELCOME!


Are you scared?                BOO! Are you now?

quietlydying
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2001-06-10
Posts 935
the wonderful land of oz
6 posted 2002-10-20 09:56 PM


excellent job.

and welcome to passoins!!

/jen/

to give pleasure to a single heart by a single act is better than a thousand heads bowing in prayer.  [ghandi]

Dopey Dope
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
7 posted 2002-10-21 10:45 AM


Nice to see you have 20 posts and have posted this one poem for now. You participate well and it does not go underappreciated.
As for the poem, I did enjoy it. Very creative. Welcome to Passions. I hope you have fun here. Keep posting mah boy.

This post has been brought to you by the 'Totally Awesome Society of Puerto Rican Egotistical Sexy Men'.

Susan
Member Ascendant
since 2004-03-27
Posts 5104
walking the surreal
8 posted 2004-04-17 01:24 PM


Found you.  This is truly beautiful.  I so understand.  You write very well, full of emotion.

Susan

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