navwin » Archives » Teen Poetry #6 » Only the birds get it
Teen Poetry #6
Post A Reply Post New Topic Only the birds get it Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
Marshalzu
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2001-02-15
Posts 2681
Lurking

0 posted 2002-09-12 04:13 PM


Only the birds get it

Hanging eyes
carry heavy bags
worry about bills
ducks seem to manage
to fly away
to a foreign hole
deep and black
a hungry bear
fishes for food
but the seagull is there first
food laden beak
like heavy bags
these tired eyes

Andrew


"I still feel the pain in my heart, what once was pure is now diluted" - Biffy Cylro

© Copyright 2002 Andrew Sewell - All Rights Reserved
Skyfire
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2000-12-27
Posts 3381
Riding
1 posted 2002-09-12 09:07 PM


Hm. Interesting. Getting cryptic on us, are we? Different from your usual style; I'm not sure I like it, but hey. Whatever works for you is the important thing. Glad to see you around.

This is where I make my graceful exit and trip flat on my face if front of my drool-worthy prof.

LyricFetish
Senior Member
since 2000-01-13
Posts 528
North Carolina
2 posted 2002-09-12 09:48 PM


I like this a lot. It's short and to the point, and very real. I like when a poem is ABOUT something. Very nice!

*~Meredith~*

"Before you slip into unconsciousness,
I'd like to have another kiss..."
*The Doors

vlraynes
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229
Somewhere... out there...
3 posted 2002-09-13 04:56 AM



Andrew~
I've read this several times now, and I have
to say that I REALLY like it!
I love the style, and the way you took it
full circle, back to the bags under the eyes.
Excellent write!
~Vicky

"...until you have read the verse on his heart,
you have not truly met the poet.
~vlraynes

PoetryIsLife
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2001-10-27
Posts 1763
...in my boxers...
4 posted 2002-09-13 11:52 AM


Funky. I like it.

Sincerely,
Titus

"I'll prepare myself, and one day my time will come."
            -Abraham Lincoln

Dark Enchantress
Senior Member
since 1999-07-27
Posts 1258
meet Morgana
5 posted 2002-09-13 04:17 PM


It makes me smile when I stumble upon poems like this. <- SEE!

"you don't need one of these to let me inside of you" T.A.

vlraynes
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229
Somewhere... out there...
6 posted 2002-09-26 06:42 PM




Just because I REALLY like this one.

"...until you have read the verse on his heart,
you have not truly met the poet.
~vlraynes

Local Parasite
Deputy Moderator 10 Tours
Member Elite
since 2001-11-05
Posts 2527
Transylconia, Winnipeg
7 posted 2002-09-30 01:42 AM


Wonderful.  I adore the style you used to write this piece.

Nothing short of perfection, Zu.  I especially like your title, as usual.  

Parasite

Learn to place poetry before people
Before you place your poetry before the people.
~Andrey Kneller

Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Teen Poetry #6 » Only the birds get it

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary