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Open Poetry #22
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brian madden
Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 4374
ireland

0 posted 2002-10-08 05:27 PM



----

black dog


Slumped shoulders submit
to this ruse highway,
with limps flaying
through the wicked
wind, I empty my bowels
of love-lore lost.
Inert, my ravaged
habit consoles.

Spectral shadow's
bathe the mane
of an ebony canine,
gaily gnawing an
abused bone. Suspiciously
he stalks stifled skin,
this congealed
shroud of me.

Blooded birth bares
my petty nerve,
it's servitude vows
broken by celibate
ceremony, the dog's
tongue loosens love-lines,
drawing us to
a pacific epilogue.

===========================

Well I am in the dog house at the moment with my muse and some other people, and rather than write down my woe, I decided to repost an oldie, that sums up my woe. Off I go to wallow in my pit of woe in the dog house. :,





El riesgo vive siempre!

© Copyright 2002 brian madden - All Rights Reserved
Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296
Purgatorial Incarceration
1 posted 2002-10-08 05:30 PM


don't know if i've seen this one before brian - i like it... interesting choice to start each stanza with alliterative phrasing. it adds to the semi-surrealistic vision you've chosen as a vehicle for your metaphor. nicely done.

C

the_loner_23
Member Ascendant
since 2002-06-08
Posts 5479
Jacksonville, Florida, USA
2 posted 2002-10-08 06:30 PM


I like this write

Cold hands means a warm heart

Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

3 posted 2002-10-08 11:59 PM


Spectral shadow's
bathe the mane
of an ebony canine,
gaily gnawing an
abused bone. Suspiciously
he stalks stifled skin,
this congealed
shroud of me.

Blooded birth bares
my petty nerve,
it's servitude vows
broken by celibate
ceremony, the dog's
tongue loosens love-lines,
drawing us to
a pacific epilogue.

=================================


ONLY YOU could write about "bowels" and make it poetic....

Wow...this poem needs several reads to grasp all its poetic offerings....
love the vocab in this and all the alliterations youve  in...
and youve worked the extended metaphor and imagery till you created an edge on this unique write.
So youre in trouble again huh?
Write them a poem...it works everytime
veery cool write Bri-babes.
  

Radrook
Senior Member
since 2002-08-09
Posts 648

4 posted 2002-10-09 01:25 AM


Interesting read!
Very deep!
Enjoyed!

dgvarner
Member Elite
since 2000-05-13
Posts 3552
High Springs, Florida
5 posted 2002-10-09 01:29 AM


lol@janetmarie...i'm with her on that "bowel" comment...lol

interesting write brian..enjoyed..

hope your muse will rejoin you soon..

hugs, g

"dont cry because its over, smile because it happened...!"  -unknown

GOlDsparklESS
Member
since 2001-12-13
Posts 428
central nj
6 posted 2002-10-09 02:19 PM


OoO  chilly!
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